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I have an 11 year old girl that challenges everything. I ask her to do something and she says no. When I get on to her she calls me a butt. I try to keep my temper in check and leave the room but sometimes that doesn't work. She will eventually keep on until she gets a spanking. Is this normal for this age? She also thinks we hate her cause we have reprimanded her.

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Pambelo

Asked by Pambelo at 11:29 AM on Nov. 21, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Absolutely! Hormones are raging. She might seem like she is Bi-polar even! I can remember those days both me at that age and my girls. You just need to keep up with her discipline. Be consistent and don't give in. She is testing you. What you do know will affect her whole teenage years, which trust me, can be very ugly is you start letting her rule.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:31 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • No need to bicker back and forth with words, just make the consequences of bad behavior appropriate.
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 11:31 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I hope you are doing fun things with her too and having one on one time. Lots of times they go for the negative attention because they do not get enough positive attention. Plus she needs praise when she does things right. I would take away whatever is her most favorite thing or activity for an appropriate period of time as punishment. Be consistent and loving.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 12:47 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I too am having a very similar problem with my 9 year old daughter....it is hard to know what to do. Glad you asked this question.
    lovemykids2010

    Answer by lovemykids2010 at 1:08 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I have had this problem as well with my boys. A couple things that I realized is 1) they argued because they felt I wasn't listening or cared about what they were saying 2) I continued to give into the arguing. I finally stopped arguing with them, it took a bit of self control. However I would tell my boys that I was not arguing, that I asked them to do something and they needed to do it. Then I would walk away. When it wasn't done after some time elapsed I would ask them when they planned to get it done, this worked. They would set their own time limit and they would do it at that time (whether it was let me finish this show, or I'll do it at a commercial or 5 more minutes- it was always done). Second thing was to pay more attention to what the argument was about, it wasn't always chores. Thirdly had a heart to heart talk about the hurt I felt when they would talk to me the way they did. Our house is calm these days
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 4:00 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • yes this is
    dorispierce

    Answer by dorispierce at 1:37 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Absolutely! Hormones are raging. She might seem like she is Bi-polar even! I can remember those days both me at that age and my girls. You just need to keep up with her discipline. Be consistent and don't give in. She is testing you. What you do know will affect her whole teenage years, which trust me, can be very ugly is you start letting her rule
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 10:07 AM on May. 16, 2011

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