Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Domestic Violence Arrest

Last night was my fiancée's birthday and he had way too much to drink. While drunk, he got irrationally angry and started yelling at me. I tried to leave the room, and he grabbed my wrists and pushed me back into the room to continue yelling. Finally, at one point he went to push me and I grabbed his shirt and his shirt ripped. When he shirt ripped, he called 911 to report a domestic dispute. When the officers arrived, they separated us and took our statements. I told them what happened, and I'm assuming he did the same. They also gave him a breathalyser and his B.A.C. was .108. Because he was drunk, and there were children in the house, and because he had caused a physical altercation, he was arrested. I did not press charges, and I would like you to understand that this is not a man who beats me. Why question is... what should I expect? If I'm not pressing charges, how long can he be held? The officers told me that he would be arraigned on Monday, but I don't know if that means he'll be released? Also, he has no thyroid gland and requires synthroid daily... and he does not have his prescription with him. Is this something that I can bring to him?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Nov. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • They'll take care of his meds and you'll be able to bail him out on Monday after he is arraigned. It will probably cost you a pretty penny but he's not going to prison or anything.

    Answer by UpSheRises at 2:29 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I'm not sure about the medication but this just happened to me only there was no drinking. My husband was let out that night cause his mom came and bailed him out. Depending on the state depends on the release and my husband couldn't contact me till after his court for 3 days. Nor was I aloud to contact him. I hope everything works out. Id call the police to see about the medication

    Answer by Heidikans at 2:33 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • IME: He will probably go without his meds. If you take them to the jail and explain to them his condition, they MIGHT let him have it, but I doubt it.


    Answer by Shines3 at 2:34 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • You not pressing charges doesn't mean anything. They'll arraign him without your "cooperation" in the matter.

    Answer by ballewal at 2:34 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • Call the jail and ask if you can take him his meds. It doesn't matter if you press charges. Evidence showed them that a crime had been committed. That's all they needed to arrest him. What to expect? That's up to the Judge. It can be from one extreme to the other depending on the local law, the community's outlook on domestic violence, his history of violence and the mood of the Judge.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:38 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • Here in CA, its not up to YOU to press charges...its up to the DA.

    Answer by youngmm at 2:39 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • You know firsat of all he is the oner that started it and oops you ripped his shirt so you know what i wouldn't want to be this cop calling two faced mother-F****R maybe he will learn not to pick the phone up for stupid shit birthday or not or drunk or not he new enough to know what to dial for help and you don't know what he told the cops. For his meds call the jail and see if you can drop them off.

    Answer by raemommy at 2:41 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • Also... my children, especially my oldest is asking where my fiancée is. I have no idea what to say...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:03 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I think the cops might be able to press charges, actually. What a bonehead thing to do, him I mean. He called 911, assuming YOU would be arrested. But it was him that was. Had there not been kids in the house, things might have gone differently, he might not have been arrested. He might not have to be bailed out. Since he didn't hit you, he might be let out, with time served. You will just have to wait and see. It all depends on the ADA, and the judge. They may require him to get counciling, and maybe anger management. And maybe some AA meetings.

    Just curious, is he always like this when he's drinking?

    Answer by Raine2001 at 3:42 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • call jail about meds, i thinkif medical need they have to give him, they might have to take him to hospital or jail doc for new rx in jail-of course this also will be his cost

    you do not have to press charges, when police called in dom viol call, they have to take someone if signs fo fight, he will have to stay away from you for i think 3 days, after that he does not have to stay away from you, will have to go to court, he can try to see da before that and try to plee bargain it downa dn agree to pay fine

    this is not fact just opinion ifrom my state

    what a birthday to remember-yikes!

    Answer by fiatpax at 5:46 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.