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Screamer

My 18 month old son is screaming all the time. If he gets annoyed with toy, if he doesn't get his way, etc (about anything) The scream is one of those high pitched ear numbing screams.... How can I get him to stop doing this over everything?? Help please!! My nerves have had it. I've tried talking to him, and just about everything I can think of. Any ideas or am I doomed to being deaf?

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kaoz888

Asked by kaoz888 at 5:12 PM on Nov. 4, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • just ignore him when he is doing that. bring him to his room, tell him that you cant understand him when he is screaming like that. When he is done with it you are willing to keep talking to him.. if he doesnt stop, ignore him.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 5:17 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • First off, forget talking. Until they are about 7 or 8, the only thing that happens when you use talking to improve behavior is that you teach them this: whoever talks longest wins. Keep that in mind when you are tempted to lecture as if you were reasoning with an adult like yourself. ... My 2nd son was VERY loud. He didn't scream, so you have my sympathy, but I caught myself being overly impatient with him because of the sheer decibels. Then I started this: early in the day, I took a part of a cotton ball and stuffed it comfortably in each ear. Voila ! I could hear everything completely well, but that cringing edge was gone. ... smile! ... Now as to the screaming: (no need to answer these questions, just consider them for yourself) Is he going to any playgroup situation, without your company? He might be encountering more frustration than a child his age should have to handle. Even older ... (cont'd)
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 5:29 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • (cont'd) ... schoolage children get pent up emotions from the stresses of group situations without their mother there to see what happened. Also, until the age of 7, a child is mainly imitative. This is how they learn. So If he sees someone in a playgroup screaming (or if someone in his life does an adult version of screaming - flying off the handle, etc.), that's going to make a big impression and get imitated later. That is a first consideration. ... a fairly superficial one. Deeper understanding calls for a focus on what is going on for a baby. A baby is all Will - as in willpower. To handle his monumental tasks(learning EVERYTHING: to crawl, to be upright, to walk, what each thing he sees or hears IS, how to use his hands…), he HAS to have a powerful will. He has no control over this Will like we adults do. If his attention is caught by something, he truly NEEDS to grab it. ... (cont'd)
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 5:51 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • (cont'd) ... This is how his brain is building its intelligence. As his mom, you want to help him do this ALL day long. Think of yourself as feeding his genius and his emotional health with your constant help. As a mom and preschool teacher I’ve known hundreds of children. Every child is a genius unless they are blocked by adults. Ok, so sometimes it isn't safe for him to grab a thing. You don't PREVENT him or snatch him away from the object of his focus. You introduce something more interesting and sneak the problem out of sight. Up until the age of 6/7, don't cut short a child's focus, lead it into the next thing. For example, your child's playing train but it's time for dinner? Play WITH the child a minute, then the train comes to the table for dinnertime. You get the idea. When he screams or has a tantrum, recognize that it isn’t HIM & don’t be angry. ... (cont'd)
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 5:52 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Realize it is more like a convulsion of his will. Ignore him & let it subside. Let the emotion chemicals wash away. If his limbs might hurt something, hold him in your arms while you go about your business. Don’t try to exert your own will onto him – his Will might need to resist that. He is a victim of the emotion which creates the screaming or a tantrum, so soothe him if that helps. Don’t scold him as if he’s a bad boy. You wouldn’t scold him for a rash; he has no more control over his will. Yes, it is possible to scold/punish so strongly that his will is more focused on being scared than it is on learning, but then you would have broken his will. Not good for later life. Remain calm, like m.robertson advises. View it, not as a battle of wills, but rather as an unexpected shower of rain which you calmly deal with.
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 5:54 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • waldorf ur preaching... i scream with him some times it helps releve the head ache lol but yes try to ignore him walk away go get the mail if need be he will calm down...
    navywifemomkoch

    Answer by navywifemomkoch at 6:18 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • keep a spray bottle of water on your belt buckle or in each room, if he screams, give him a quick spray. I'm not talking about a drowning spray, i'm talking about a quick mist. It won't hurt him and it will give him quite the shock. Maybe he'll stop.
    Central_IL_Mom

    Answer by Central_IL_Mom at 11:06 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

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