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I found out that my 14 year old son's friend typed obscene and disgusting things on my son's computer during their study session today. How should I handle it?

Should I call his parents? Should his dad talk to this boy and give him a "man to man" talk and tell him what acceptable behavior in our homes?  I track what my son does, and he is a really good kid and has NEVER given my any reason to worry.  All of a sudden this kid comes over and I find all this trash on the computer that made me sick to my stomach.

 
tcdamsel

Asked by tcdamsel at 9:23 PM on Nov. 21, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (20 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • actually i would talk to your son about it, let him know that you know and that you dont like it, and maybe the next time this kid comes over and tries to do that your son will let him know its not ok. if not, then just make sure that your son knows not to do it, thats more important i think.
    momslikeme366

    Answer by momslikeme366 at 9:26 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I know you trust your kid, but I'd be 100% sure it actually was your son's friend....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • Well.. I wouldn't completely blame your son's friend first. I am sure your son is a great kid, but you know when boys get together they will do certain things they wouldn't normally do. If you did want to talk to his parents I would do it in a way where you aren't directly accusing him.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 9:25 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • Talk to your kid. Even if he didn't do it, he needs to be told about how things like that are wrong. If it was for sure the friend, you should talk to the parents and let them know that is not acceptable in your home.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 9:32 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I agree with the first poster.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:26 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Next time you see him, if you are POSITIVE it was his friend, tell them both to keep it appropriate or they won't be hanging out anylonger.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:31 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • Sounds like troublemaker who really wanted you to find that, especially if your son is what you describe and considered that good everywhere. We have a friend who comes over and consistently sets up for our child to be blamed for things he would NEVER do. I understand. I think it can be an envy issue too. And I understand what you mean because my son is no angel for sure, but I know what is within his realm of misbehavior. From my experience, back off that "friend" if possible, he will think up new problems and maybe just really wants to see some trouble in your son's life. Also, have a talk with your son, enlighten him to kids like these and teach him how to manage things like this, or he will end up in this kids' trouble one time.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 9:32 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I would not call the parents, as they may place blame on you and your teen.

    Just do not allow him to come over and use your son's computer. They can study at the library (where they have computers) to use. This way, you do not have to sorry about him using the computer for unnecessary purposes.

    Good luck.
    AdrianaS

    Answer by AdrianaS at 1:55 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • If it was me, I wouldn't let that kid on your son's computer anymore. I never let my DD's friends on it due to that stuff. Tell your son that this is the new rule
    NicolesMommy

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 3:02 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

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