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7 Bumps

how do u trust your spouse after being cheated on

had affair for a year

Answer Question
 
cuteandmoody

Asked by cuteandmoody at 10:27 PM on Nov. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (57 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Never could because he never really acted remorseful.

    We divorced 8 months later.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:28 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • It's not easy and it requires A LOT of hard work, love and faith. You CAN do it, but a lot of people can't.. I being one of them.. but it can be done.. it's just going to take a lot of time and a lot of communication.
    momofonelilguy

    Answer by momofonelilguy at 10:31 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I had ex BFs who cheated on me. I made sure when I married I'd never be cheated on, or my name would be slashed across the newspapers world wide! I would not be able to forgive DH if he cheated on me.
    smokisses

    Answer by smokisses at 10:38 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • IDK about that one. For me he cheated once, and I knew the circumstances. It was still hard and painful. It took alot of prayer, and work on my part, and a complete change on his. It did take a long time though. Maybe start out by evaluating wether you want to stay, and wether he wants to change. Those are the two biggest hurdles. Then maybe think about counsling. For both him and you and together as a couple. Remember, whatever YOU choose...this was not your fault!! There may be underlying factors, but no matter what they are his behavior is completly unacceptable!!! NOTHING ever excuses infidelity! Allow yourself to feel, and remember that if you are both willing to put forth the effort it takes, your marriage can be saved. Despite what others may think. If you ever need to talk PM me. I may not have been in your exact shoes, but I know how it feels.
    RheaF

    Answer by RheaF at 10:40 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • thank u for your input i will keep updates about it
    cuteandmoody

    Comment by cuteandmoody (original poster) at 10:43 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • You don't. You can't.
    MizusT

    Answer by MizusT at 11:40 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • YOU DON'T!!!!!!!!! How could you trust him?????
    NicolesMommy

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 2:14 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I couldn't get past it if mine ever cheated.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 2:22 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I wouldn't stay around long enough to try and forgive him.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 2:37 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I was engaged to a guy who woke up hungover and naked in another girl's bed. He told me about it and showed a lot of remorse, but I still just couldn't trust him. I tried to forgive him, but ultimately, we fought a ton and we ended up ending our engagement. DH knows that a guy only cheats on me once, and that the price is high. Particularly after a year long affair, there wouldn't be a second chance.
    For some women, forgiveness and trust can happen, but I know that for me, I couldn't do it. I could never look him in the eyes and really trust him. Every time I'm not with him, I'd be thinking about it in the back of my mind.
    I don't mean to sound unsupportive, but these are just the things that can really eat away at your relationship, and you need to decide what's right for you. I hope things work out for you!
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 2:43 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

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