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Cheating/Open Relationships adult content

Has anyone ever had an "open relationship"? If so how do you make it work without things being considered cheating?

I only ask because my husband is more interested in this whole thing than I am, and he's already messed around behind my back without me knowing it. I love my husband and want him to be happy, but not at my expense!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Nov. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • He's already done it at your expense if he cheated. Instead of thinking about how happy your husband will be, because it seems he's taken care of that, you need to think about what will make you happy. It wont work, and if you care and love yourself enough, you'll run before it gets really bad. I usually don't tell people to leave their SO, but I can see where this is heading. It's not going to work out because I can tell this is something you don't want. A relationship doesn't work if both partners are only concerned with one persons happiness, you both should be concerned about each others happiness.


    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 11:46 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • If he is messing around behind your back he has no respect for you and does not truly love you. He may care deeply, but in my opinion actual love is absolute and enough...he shouldn't need/want to go elsewhere for his pleasure. In my HONEST opinion, he is cheating and it will always be cheating until he is happy with you alone.
    If it were me, I would seek help from a marriage counselor and if that didn't work, i would end the marriage.

    Answer by an-apple-a-day at 11:46 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • when you were a little girl dreaming of the man that you would marry, did he ever tell you that he wanted to have sex with other people too? does that sound like a marriage to you? does he sound like someone that you should degrade yourself for for the rest of your life just so he will be happy? there are real men out there who would NEVER EVER disrespect their wife like that. i'm sorry, but you've got a loser for a husband.

    Answer by Michelle451 at 11:47 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • open relationships/cheating are both disgusting. i would rather not catch herpes & be disrespected. i would be getting a divorce asap!

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:47 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • If your husband has already cheated on you then I do not think that an open relationship would work but it is totally up to you. First I would ask yourself a couple of questions
    Is having sex with someone other than your husband something YOU want to do?
    Would you be able to handle the idea of him sleeping with someone else?
    If you have kids you need to think about how this will affect them and don't just assume they will never find out.
    Would you sleep with someone different eveytime to avoid emotional attachment?
    Would it be something you did as a couple or would you do you own thing?
    These are just a few questions but I'm sure you have many more swirlling around in you head. If this is something you are seriously thinking about you needed to sit down with you husband and talk about this honestly and just let him know all of your concerns. This is not something that will work if you hid your feelings from each other.

    Answer by scarletann808 at 12:11 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I personally think its an excuse to cheat again but with your permission.

    Answer by MumaSue at 1:30 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I am sorry but he has already cheated on you and now he is asking for permission to have sex with whoever he wants? That is not an "open relationship" or a healthy marriage. How would you feel if your children where the ones coming to you with this problem? I have seen couples that have a healthy open relationship but it is based on trust and a mutual interest in it. Your husband is not trustworthy and you have no interest in having an open relationship but to hold onto a cheating husband.

    Answer by TaraK. at 3:29 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • go have sex with a guy who has a 12" penis, brag about it to him & then tell me he still wants an open relationship.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:03 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I agree with MumaSue...he just wants you to tell him it's okay to dip his wick anywhere he wants to. It's disgusting. Tell him he can't have his cake and eat it too, although at this point since he's already been f-ing around, I think I'd just be looking to get out of the marriage. Good luck and I'm sorry this is happening.

    Answer by vicesix at 8:43 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I'm in one and it works for us. I don't have to be insecure. He lets me know what's up and he always comes back to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

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