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Is it possible to speak to DH and actually accomplish any thing?!

I've posted random issues between me and DH over the years. The most common advice is to talk to him. Hell I've even given that advice before, assuming that the woman's DH wasn't like mine. My DH blows me off if I try to have a meaningful conversation. I'd like to tell him that range from him insulting me (He's said "your hair looks stupid"....why not say some thing less hateful? This is not the only time, just one example) to him griping at me about not wanting sex. (I've told him that foreplay would help me out, but he doesn't want to put forth any effort. Since he's horny 24/7 he expects me to be the same.) Just yesterday I told my kids to throw away any toy that was broken. We clean their playroom several times a year and get rid of broken things and donate things they don't want. DH comes in there and totally disregards what he just heard me saying and insinuates that I'm ridiculous or something. They have toys up to the ceiling and broken toys have no place in amongst every thing! These are just examples of recent things, not the ONLY issues we have. What can I do to make myself heard? Any assertive Mommas have some advice?

 
Mrs.B3

Asked by Mrs.B3 at 2:08 AM on Nov. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,196 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I would ignore him when he spoke to me. Make sure your kids know that the toys go or no more come in.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 2:38 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I have the same problem-The sad thing is they are grown men and we shouldn't have to be assertive and agonize over what we should do to make them be more considerate. It's flat out disrespect, I've gotten to the point where I just stand my ground, make my point and pointing out that I will not tolerate it anymore. I use to ignore my dh when he did that because he I felt no matter what I said, he really didn't care. I point it out every time he acts this way-which is 45% of the day. I hoping I will eventually wear him down the way he has me and then he might be more considerate.....MAKE YOUR POINT-STAND YOUR GROUND-DON'T GIVE IN-TREAT HIS ACTIONS LIKE YOU WOULD PUPPY WHO KEEPS PEEING ON YOUR CARPET!!!.
    aitson

    Answer by aitson at 6:47 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I hate to say it but I think it is a way for them to be in control. My DH can be that way. But I have gotten him to talk about the important things. I pick my battles and only bring up things that are really important. Men don't like to discuss every little thing. Sometimes its better to just make a point and move on in a matter of fact fashion. I tell him a time limit on the talk so he knows it will end in XX minutes no matter what. I stick to the point and use I statement instead of YOU statements. I lay the expectation that we are here for a solution and not a bitch session. Be careful to listen to his side of things and really care about his feelings. Set the expectation of communication in the marriage but modify it to fit his male needs. Another suggestion is to read books/internet about understanding men. I grew up with 2 sisters and have had to learn about men through my DH and reading.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:35 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I really don't know what to tell you. I know with my husband, sometimes he doesn't listen to me, but will someone else...have you tried counseling.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 1:11 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Don't have the money for counseling right now. No insurance. He wouldn't go if we could. I'M the one with the problem according to him.
    Mrs.B3

    Comment by Mrs.B3 (original poster) at 3:39 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • OH his version of talking is him saying, "I don't know," "whatever," and "so."
    Mrs.B3

    Comment by Mrs.B3 (original poster) at 3:41 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

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