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Sleeping issues after visits..

My son is around 3 years old. I unfortunately have to let him go see his dad for a night every weekend. My son has said numerous times that he does not want to go, and he has to be bribed in order to go with him (normally after an hour or so of fighting). When he goes to sleep, for atleast the first night back, he wakes up screaming and crying to make sure i'm still there. I of course console him, let him know i'm there and get him back to sleep. I've tried to talk to his father, but he claims (and i have been told by his family that this is a lie) that my son doesn't have any issues over his fathers house, behaves perfectly and sleeps fine.

I was just wondering if anyone else has this issue and how they handle it?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:41 AM on Nov. 22, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (10)
  • I am so very sorry. I hope you are able to calm him. Just keep reassure him that he will be back with you the next day.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 5:45 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I agree with the one who posted before me but also maybe try to get him a teddy or something that he can take to his dads house that will help him feel safer. I hope things get better.

    Answer by vjoaquin at 6:00 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Thank you guys. I have actually tried little stuffed animals that he likes.. but my son tells me when he gets home that daddy threw them away. The whole situation gets to be pretty frustrating. He actually just woke back up a little while ago to make sure I was still here.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:04 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • If this keeps happening I would talk to your DR. I would also try and talk with him and find out why he doesn't want to go with his father. I understand that he is only 3, although he should be able to tell you in his own words what the matter is. Right now I agree keep reassuring him that everything is okay. Then do everything you can to find out what is going on, if there is something going on. My girldfriends son, who was a little older, started having problems when he went to his fathers house, she ended up sending him to a therapist, who said it would be better if he didn't go to his fathers. So she went back to court and they ruled it was in the child's best interest to not his father. He was 9 when that happened and it has been 5 years. Her son is doing great and no longer has the anxiety he used to.
    Good Luck with everything!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:05 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I would record him before and after or have someone else record it as well and sit down with the father and ask what is going on. Sitting down and talking to him maybe you should also try to figure out if the visits need to be supervised by someone outside of the family to figure out what is happening. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:44 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Are overnight visits required? If not, let him spend an entire day with dad, from the minute he wakes up and pick him up bed time. Something is obviously going on over there that is causing problems with your child.

    Answer by khedy at 10:12 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • CornFlakeGirl - If i can find a place with him being so young, i am going to try for a therapist. I was thinking about that before, but i know they have some restrictions. Thank you for the help.

    PinkDragon - Thank you. I have actually tried a lot to sit down and talk with him, but he doesn't tell me anything. He tells me he doesn't have a single problem at his house, says he's happy, sleeps through the night, etc.

    Khedy - Thanks for the suggestion. Unfortunately it is a court order that it is overnight... they assigned a lawyer for my son, but i couldn't afford one. The lawyer acted appalled by everything, then turned around and said in court he thinks the father should have overnight and in a year the overnight visits eventually going up to like 3/4 times a week.. It's been a disaster

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:10 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I would really think twice about letting him go maybe something not right is going on there.Have you tlked to his father?

    Answer by fryshannon34 at 10:30 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • sorry you're going through this! If possible get him to talk to a Dr or someone about why he's feeling this way

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 1:25 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • i would tell the court what is happening, suggest a mediation with your son and his dad... get to the bottom of it, and also ask if the court can suggest a therapist for your son to help with the transition.

    Answer by asil at 7:02 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

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