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5 Bumps

what can i do

First I must tell you all I have no friends, I put my everything into my 27 year marriage. Last year my husband was diagnosed with kidney failure, he is doing well now. In June of this year he met a woman whom he dated before me. He moved out and has decided that he wants to be with her, she lives in another state. We have 5 children two still at home. He is on diaylsis and is doing okay. He goes to visit her every month. This month she came here and she told him I love you , I want to be with you, I take just as you are. These are things that he has always known about me. I have always been in love with my husband and still is. He came to me one day and wanted to sleep with me and I did, we have been sleeping together at least two times per week when he is not away. Afterward he acts as if I am bothering him to talk to him. I know I am wrong but I love him so much and don't want to loose him to another woman. He told me he is planning to move to the state she is in. I won't make it. I love my husband so much. I asked this woman to leave him alone an let us work on our marriage she told me no, He has been my whole world WHAT CAN I DO. I try to get over him I can't. HEll cant be worse than this. I feel like I don't want to live. The holidays are the worst we have never been apart this long. I was with him since I was 17. I want my husband to come home.

I have prayed and prayed nothing has changed.. I have nobody to talk to. what can i do.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Nov. 22, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • You can't make him love you and sleeping with him is only making it harder on you.I understand you love him and want him but you'll never move forward as long as you keep being with him. Tell him if he's gonna continue to be with this other woman then you are done! Your grabbing for staws here, maybe when you've had enough and you think more of yourself, you wont settle for this kind of life.You and your kids deserve much better. He's got it" all" right now doesn't he? Quit waiting around, get pissed, it's your life!!!

    Answer by anichols1 at 8:55 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Let him go. He doesn't care about you. You're just a booty call to him now.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:51 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I know it's hard... I'm so sorry you are going through this. It will take time but I agree with the PP- let him go.

    Answer by VeggieMuslima at 10:55 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • If he want to leave theres really nothing you can do. I am sorry to hear that. If that other woman is more important to him than you and shes more important that you 27 years of marrage then I would have given him the boot. Talk to him about it. If he loves her want to leave you and whats to go life with her - go ahead. Tell him you love him and dont want him to go but if he chooses to he hast to go right now, and he cant be sleeping with you and her. I would have kicked him out - go stay with her then. Thats what I would have done.
    I can understand how you feel and its gonna be a hard time, but you will get over it eventually. You still have you kids and your life. Do something good for yourself. Follow a hobby and maybe you make some good friends along the way.

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 10:56 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I feel horrible for you and your situation, but in all honesty and without wanting to hurt your feelings... He has moved on and has expressed that to you, and now you have to do the same. Its better to do it now and be fair to yourself than to keep hanging onto something that is over. The longer you hang on the harder you are making it on yourself in the long run. Good luck and I am so sorry.

    Answer by bjojola at 10:56 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I wonder if he's trying to avoid being a burden to you... if he can't cope with the idea that he's complicated to be around and if it might be helpful to you to be free of him?

    You never know what motivates others, but it has been my experience in life that 'ruining your life' is never anyone's reason for doing anything.

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:27 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I feel for you...27 years off giving and giving to someone, good or bad and then having them leave you for someone else is horrible. You have to let him go but before you do, make sure she knows that he has been sleeping with you all this time. He may be telling her horrible things about you and making it seem like he wants nothing to do with you when in fact, that's not the case. What's the worse that can happen...he'll leave you...oh wait...he's already doing that.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 12:00 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I would also let him go and move on with your life. I would also suggest counseling for YOU. Not for both of you at this time but just for you. GL

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 2:18 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I have never told anyone this be4...but MOMMY leave DADDY and let him come back to you. Dont go fishing around for him. He has made his decision and if I was you advise him that it would be in the best interest that yall got a divorce. Let him live in VAIN...dont be apart of that DRAMA that he has going on. Moving right along.....

    Answer by mom42107 at 2:23 PM on Nov. 22, 2010