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I dont love my husband anymore. How can I make this work?

Long story short, my husband and I have a 5 year old together and I am now pregnant with our second child. I dont love him anymore though. He is so hard to live with and is kind of selfish. I have tried talking to him about these things but he doesnt change. Overall he is a good father though, and even if I wanted to leave, I am not financially stable enough to do so. Anyway, I commited to this relationship and i feel like I need to stay and make it work, especually since there are going to be 2 children involved. They deserve to live in a two parent home. I am commited to making this work one way or another so please dont just tell me to give up and leave. But I do need some sort of advice. How do I make this work? How do I stay without getting to depressed here? What can I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Nov. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • If you don't love your husband anymore you can't make it work.

    Answer by mlmsm928 at 11:58 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I dont know! Are you sure its not just cause you are pregnant! Im wishing you the best of luck!!

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 12:00 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Try the Love Dare from the movie Fireproof- google it or maybe check Barnes and Noble. You have to find that spark again and explore each other more. After so much time I think it's easy for married couples to stop "learning" each other and it's important to keep that up. Everyone can be selfish at times and I wouldn't say that him being selfish is a problem that can't be fixed. Time and effort- place major emphasis on your marriage and remember your vows. Good Luck.

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 12:01 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I really hope it is just because I am pregnant, it feels like it started shorty after pregnancy did. I am due in february so we will find out soon.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:02 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • If you truly don't love him, how can you make a relationship work? Don't care if I get a thumbs down here, I lived it. Resentment will form on both sides - you for all the things he does that aggravate you that you can't overlook anymore because you don't love him. Him, because he feels you don't give him the attention and love he wants. Kids will see this is how you act with each other and model this behavior in their relationships as they grow.

    Committed or not, you can talk it out and commit to the marriage but with the stipulation that you're there to raise children as friends perhhaps? Not sure how you can act like a normal marriage, normal family with no love on on person's part.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • You just have to find that spark again. Go on a romantic date or go back to the place of your 1st date or 1st kiss and go from there. Good luck!!

    Answer by Krystal.Ingalls at 12:28 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Look for the things you first feel in love with. I don't believe in the whole "i'm not in love with him any more". You CHOSE to love someone. Love is a choice. It sounds to me like you are waiting on him to do something to make you love him, but until you decide to , nothing he does will matter.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 12:32 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • you can't fix what no longer works GL

    Answer by chica679 at 12:42 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • If a car breaks down and doesn't work, you can fix it until it's up and running again. :) It's possible.

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 12:44 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Love is a choice, hon. Instead of focusing on what's wrong with him, what is he doing right? What made you decide to love him in the first place? While you can't change him, you can change you. Not saying you're bad, you're dealing with a lot right now. What you want to change is your attitude. I agree with the mom who said try the Love Dare. If you haven't watched Fireproof, I highly recommend it, and watch it whether or not your husband does. If you decide to try the love dare, don't give up if you don't start seeing results right away. Your marriage didn't stall out overnight, it's going to take a little bit to fix it. But it can be done.

    Answer by duckigrrl at 1:24 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

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