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Would you rather...

Your child grow up to be exactly the kind of person they WANT to be and pursue the dreams they have for themselves, or have them grow up to be a good person, caused mostly by you sheltering them from the rest of the world, and only allowing them to pursue dreams that YOU see acceptable?

I just have a conversation with my mom about the Duggars and how I feel so sorry for their kids. They are not given the chance to explore the world and find their own path. They are forced to live in the "Duggar World" where everything is perfect and nothing bad ever happens. What if one of the kids wanted to go to college or what if one of the kids was gay? What do you think the Duggars would do? And I'm not being specific to them, there are tons of other parents just like them.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Nov. 22, 2010 in

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Answers (9)
  • Like maybe Josh's wife doesn't want to have child after child like they did... I understand that. But I would hope that as an adult now she can make her own decisions. If she truly wants to stop at 2 kids, then she and Josh should discuss it and do as they please. It's like my Great Grandmother- she is Quaker and raised her 7 children Quaker. 4 continued on with Quaker lifestyle, while 3 did not once they hit adulthood. My grandfather did not continue with Quaker lifestyle and so that particular lifestyle did not get passed down to my mom, or myself. But people raise their children how they want. Of course there are going to be situations where they way some parents raise their kids becomes a problem where someone has to intervene, such as parents who allow their kids to drink at age 12 or do drugs around them.

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 12:42 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • my kids have their own thoughts and do their own thing its easier to get someone to contribute to themselves and society if you show them the tools to do it and let them make up their own mind how they will be happy doing this.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:19 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • It doesn't look like they are in a weird world to me. They are still young, where are they going to go. My parents didnt let me roam around the streets when I was young or even a teen and I'm thankful for that. It saved my from getting into trouble. Every family has their own beliefs and you raise your children around your beliefs because thats what you feel is best. The kids look happy and healthy and thats what matter.Lets tackle something harder like child negelct and abuse.


    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 12:21 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I'm not talking about only the younger ones Jenaik. The older ones are not given the opportunity to explore anything. Even the oldest son was not allowed to dance or kiss his wife at their wedding. Its the things like that that I'm talking about. Even if the children don't want to believe the same things as their parents, they have no choice. What if he wanted to dance at the wedding? And actually if I recall correctly, he wasn't even allowed to speak to the girl unless they were going to get married. So he met her 2 times and had to decide if he wanted to marry her or not...or else he wasn't allowed to communicate with her anymore.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:25 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I think children should be able to explore who they are and make their own decisions with the guidance of their parents. The best of both worlds really. I think we should raise them as we see fit while not controling their every move. As much as I would like to disagree with the way the Duggars raise their kids, I have no right, because they are raising them the way they see fit. I just hope I do my very best in teaching my children life's lessons and that they use my advice when making future decisions.

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 12:27 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I think your making it much worst then it is. Everyone in the famiily seems happy. I see what your trying to get at but I dont think it's that serious.

    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 12:28 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I know Jenaik. I'm not trying to make it into some huge thing. I'm just saying are the children truely happen inside, or are they made to feel happy with this life? I just wonder what they all would become if they were with "normal' parents.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:32 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I think that parents definitly contribute to who or what their children are going to be so I see your point. But we all still have free will, if they wanted to leave that life style they could. Im sure it would be hard, and there would be consequences for everyone involved but its still possible.

    Answer by bellsandheels at 12:45 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • But isn't everyones definition of "normal" different. Whats normal to you might not be normal to me and vice-versa.

    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 12:53 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

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