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2 Bumps

Keeping a voice mail for 3 years

Hi
well i been married for 6 months now i have a 6 year old boy and i love my husband verry much. I just have to ask you moms a question and see what your feed back is and if i have the right to be mad or not.
Well i know my husban since 2007 and he has a very closed friend they known each other for years but before i got merried he told me he sleped with her a couple of times and that they are still the best of friends at the time it didn't boder me cuz we were just dayting. but before we got married he asked me if i would meet her and i didn't think that was a good idea i can get over the fact that he sleped with her and i have to be in the same room as her knowing that they we intimate together. I dont have a problem him talking to her either cuz i know they are friends but i wonder sometimes. He knows how i feel about her and how i dont want to meet her at the time. but anyways thats a little bit about the friend situation. I asked my husband last night for his password on his voicemail. and he gave it to me so here i am lisenting to the voicemails and the first thing i hear is her friends voicemail talking about she got her message and she and him alone with a bottle of champaing. i was so mad i put the voicemail on speaker and he said i had that for so long even before i met you. So i said your telling me that you had this for 3 years saved in your phone is that crazy or what. he also had some other ones with guy friends that were drunk. he said that he thought they were funny to him but i didnt hear her friend drunk when she said what she did and i didnt find anything funny about it like he said. So my question is should i have somehing to worry about with this friend of his. so far he has not seeing her but he does talk to her and text her ones in a wile, thats what he tells me im not really sure. Do i have something to worry about or am i making a big deal about it. i also have a best friend thats a guy i known him for 8 years we never had sex but we did date for a month when i was 18 years old and my husband compares me and my friend to his situation with his friend. the diference between me and him is that i would rather choose my husband over my best friend becuse i think we got merried and now were a familly and if he wasn't happy with me talking to my friend i would tell my friend my situation and i know he would understand. But he told me he doesn't want to loose his friendship with this girl friend that hi has.
What do you moms think?

Answer Question
 
liz600

Asked by liz600 at 12:50 PM on Nov. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Sorry, I can't read such a long question!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Can you shorten it and make it more to the point and understandable?
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 12:53 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Ignore the annon. You need to talk to your husband about it. I've had the same thing going on with my dh he hasn't slept with his friend (has far as I know) but it still bothers me he talks to her all the time and texts her and emails her. Hes backed off alot now since I gave him my rings and told him until he can commit Soley to me I don't want his rings. You have to put your foot down and stand up for you.

    luvmygrlz

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 1:01 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I dont think he should be friends with that woman anymore especialli because they have had sex.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 1:06 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • http://www.cafemom.com/group/112686/
    ^^ That's a good group here on CM! I Love My Husband
    It's not only for DHs, but for SOs, and BFs, In law problems, MIL problems, YOUR family problems, and just to gloat and be happy about your life!
    Please come and talk to other wives about this, MOST have had the same problems as you, and there are more that just this to discuss!
    smokisses

    Answer by smokisses at 1:15 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Well I have never had a phone service that allows me to keep a voice mail that long. they always say this message will be deleted in so many days. you can continue to save it until that point and then it deletes. I think the longest you can keep a voice mail is about 90 days. Sorry, but I do think you should be worried.
    CarlieJS

    Answer by CarlieJS at 1:19 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • yes sweetie you should talk to your husband & see what he say
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 1:21 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Dont worry urself about him and his friendships.....just keep ur eyes open and mouth shut because if there is something to be worried about then it will come to the light. Men cant hide anything too long....his conscious will eat him alive. As women we have to stop putting ourselves through crazy BS. I agree with you not wanting to meet her but since you have heard this message that is recent then it time to let her know who you are and that they can remain friends but advise her to not leave messages on his voicemail like that....if she gets an attitude then you have your proof that she has feelings for your husband. Less talking and more listening....Ask your husband if you can meet her and see what he says if he disagree then he has something to hide. Thats the only answer that you need. Please limit the nagging and 21 questions...A silent respond will make a man weep....
    mom42107

    Answer by mom42107 at 2:05 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I wouldn't worry about it. He had other voice messages so he may just have a thing with saving memorable voice messages. Just ask him to delete it if you are uncomfortable about it.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 2:43 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

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