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Is this statement true in your marriage??

The enemy of my spouse is my enemy too.

My XH would never defend me and would often take the side of another to my face, in public, in front of friends, family, etc. It made me feel horribly disrespected and like he had no marital consideration for me at all.

I will not befriend a person whom my husband has issue with. I will not associate with someone who my husband would not associate with. If my husband feels the need to vent about a person, I will be his shoulder and I will vent with him.

This is how my husband and I are with each other. And I have the greatest respect for him for being the same way with me.

In many ways, it feels like you are abandoning your spouse in the midst of their "war" if you will not stand by their side, in their corner, or stand up for their honor when they are in conflict with someone.

Answer Question
 
ShelbyShareAlot

Asked by ShelbyShareAlot at 3:34 PM on Nov. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,281 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • yes
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:35 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Yes..that is true..for the most part. If my SO or I are really having a spat with another person then we stick together.. I still talk to old friends he doesn't necessarily like and he talks to some ppl that I don't necessarily like, but nothing major.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 3:36 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Well, yes, but...

    With my ex-husband, the enemy most to him was my sister. She said some nasty things about him before she even met him (she lives in another state). I let her have it when I found out and we didn't talk for 3 years, but eventually my other sisters and I wanted to have some kind of relationship with our sister who we were so close with growing up, and for our kids to have a relationship. My ex had nothing to do with her and I was fine with that, he said he was too...but sometimes a resentful remark would come out of him.

    Hard situation.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 3:37 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • True with us, he'll even defend me to his parents.
    sweet29mom

    Answer by sweet29mom at 3:38 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Yes.

    We face this world together. We work together. We fight together. We stand together.

    Our experiences taught us, that when we are against one another, work against one another,, we do not stand together. We actually become further apart. And it is not healthy for our relationship.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:38 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • mostly i agree --- unless he was super duper wrong about something - in which case i would tell him and try to get him to see the light... even if he didnt i would stand behind him... but my dh gets along with everyone (except his sister - who everyone cannot stand.)
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:41 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Very true, I cut out contact with my nieces and nephews because he had a big fall out with his half sister and asked me not to have contact, and I obliged.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:41 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • yes
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 3:42 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • He's my best friend. Someone want talk smack? Just remember I kick ass clean up the mess then I take names...same as him. We are a team and we are copilots
    elyssek832

    Answer by elyssek832 at 3:49 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • We are together on issues but neither of us have ever had any "enemies" or people we disagree or do not get along with. Maybe it is just our personalities.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 3:52 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

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