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2 Bumps

I am becoming a step parent, How do I deal with the ex who won't leave us alone?

My fiancee and I have been together for almost 2 years, the ex still refuses to leave us alone and is constantly calling him and texting him. She keeps insisting on using the child against us by saying we are bad, and not to listen to us. My fiancee and I have split up because of this and are working everything out now. How do I react to her comments and how do I face these struggles?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Nov. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • It is hard! Good Luck! Try your best to keep it positive for the child!

    Answer by jem102675 at 4:41 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I understand your frustration but is your finacee still sleeping with her? How old is the child? If I knew more info maybe I could help...I understand how you may feel but its not always the other parent that is causing the problems....there is always two sides to every story....You can inbox me and I will inbox you back.

    Answer by mom42107 at 4:45 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Being in your shoes for several years I can relate somewhat. My dh and his ex split up and literally we began to date. We accidentally got pregnant very fast which the ex didn't like. To top things off all three of us worked in the same place. Thankfully she doesnt work there anymore. Long story short, for the first few years it was very bad. She would threaten me, talk about me constantly, and try and make me seem like the bad guy. Up until this day I refuse to acknowledge her. When she worked with me she would make comments and laugh as I passed her. I made no remarks or expressions. I wouldn't sink to her level. In the begining she would try to text him all the time, blah blah....but she got the hit because we just didn't respond to her. My DH had to only talk to her if it concerned their daughter. Basically had to blatently ingnore her with everything else. Your fiance' has to blantenly ignore her unless it concerns DD!

    Answer by Roisin07 at 4:50 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • i ahve been on that situation and i just ignored the girl...i dont care about her what important to me is my hubby.....she is the past and i am the present.....future

    Answer by neng999 at 4:50 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • DOCUMENT me, in years to come it'll come in handy. You don't have to write long details but keep a journal of what she did/how she reacted over situations. I've been there, done that.....she 'acted' like she was ok with our marriage (4yrs after they divorced). Well literally the day we picked up the son to come to our wedding, the 'fun' began. It was another 15 years of CONSTANT IRRITATION, lawyers, letters..........I wish I had a magic remedy for you. And who knows, things could improve - just stay positive, don't react in front of her, or take her bait. ALWAYS take the high road or do whatever is best for the child. Most of all, be sure that you and your husband to be agree and back each other up in EVERYTHING. I can't say it'll be easy, but it'll be worth it in the end. GOOD LUCK!

    Answer by GumboGirl at 4:57 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • My dh and I started dating 3 years ago, right after he and his ex split. She has bad mouthed us up and down, insisted we take drug tests, turned his parents against us, even contacted my exboyfriends...lord only knows why or how this all came to be part of her master plan to try and make our lives hell. She calls and texts constantly and always makes it about my sd somehow. I don't know if she will ever stop but I've heard one day she might. I hope that day comes soon...

    Answer by BluDog at 6:51 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I never understood why women do that. I have friends who obsess over their exes and new girlfriends. Do they enjoy torturing themselves? My ex has a new girlfriend and although it is difficult to accept, I'd rather not be involved in their personal life. As long as they are treating my children well when they have them, I'm content. Maybe if/when she finds someone else, she'll leave your fiancee alone. For now, try to be civil. If she's upset about another woman being in her children's life, let her know you aren't a threat and you aren't trying to replace her. I hope things get better for all of you!

    Answer by mommommamommyyy at 7:19 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Call CPS on her, (Child Protective Service) on her and explain that you think emotional abuse is going on. Parental Alienation Syndrome occurs when the jilted ex wants revenge by turning the child against the other bio parent and step parent. You need to nip this in the bud causes serious psychological problems in children. You fiance has to be on the same page with you, or nothing will get resolved.

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 7:54 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

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