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Dealing with a miscarriage

I m/c in June and did alot of mourning the first month and seemed to be fine after my period resumed and we could begin TTC again. Life has gone ahead and we are blessed in so many ways and are both busy with work and the two children that we have. Now, I am a month from my 'expected due date' and very sad and weepy again (just like I was the first month after my m/c) Every time I hear of someone else being pregnant, I get so upset. I know it is b/c this is in the forefront of my mind, but I do have many friends and aquaintances who are pregnant and showing or have just found out they are, and it is so hard to be happy for them. I am, but I feel sorry for myself.
Although I know everyone is different, how long was it before you realized that you weren't so sad and weepy at the mention of others around you being pregnant? I am hoping that once the due date has passed and some more time, that in the new year, it will also be a new start for us too and that I can move forward.


Asked by miraclewaits at 8:41 PM on Nov. 22, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

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Answers (8)
  • I always told myself that there was a reason the baby passed! By the way I had 3 miscarriages. There could have been some major health problem that is why it happened! It is hard but you have to move forward! Keep your head up!


    Answer by jem102675 at 8:44 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • It really is different for everyone. I still get sad around the time I m/c and when they would have been born. I was pretty much weepy for about a year after and for a few years after that if someone I knew got preggo I got a little sad. It does get a little easier with time, but it never completely goes away. You will get through it though. If they are friends then they will understand that while you are happy for them, you are also sad.

    Answer by kmath at 8:45 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I do believe that there is a reason for the baby dying. We were told that it was probably a chromosomal anomaly (as I m/c at home and had to be taken to the ER as the pain was unbearable!). Once I had the U/S there was nothing to see so that is their assumption or an empty sac.
    I am seeing an OB now and she has had me in for bloodwork as well as an HSG test that showed one blocked tube but otherwise everything else is normal and so is my hubby's sperm count so we are still hopeful!

    Comment by miraclewaits (original poster) at 8:48 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I honestly expected to get weepy around the time I was due. In fact, I was dreading it. Especially since someone I knew was due around the exact same time. But I didn't. Maybe it was because I had already gotten pregnant again. Maybe it was because things were so hectic. But in all reality, I was reflective at most. But then, for the first two months after the miscarriage I was ok with it. But when I realized that even if we had started trying right away I couldn't get pregnant at that time, I lost it. It brought to light how badly I wanted another baby. I did everything I possibly could to conceive again, except take time to heal. I lost my second baby this year just 1 1/2 weeks after finding out. I'm currently on my 3rd pregnancy this year. We weren't really trying, but I wasn't preventing either. I am now 12 weeks. Things do get better.

    Answer by ncbirdie at 8:57 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Thank you for your encouragement!

    Comment by miraclewaits (original poster) at 9:03 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • i still think about the ones i lost on their "birthdays" and when i see children that would have been around their age it makes me a little sad as well but i was really devestated both times and it gets a little easier with time

    Answer by nandy90 at 11:30 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • ALthough every situation is unique and devastating, I am finding it hard to approach the holidays knowing that I won't have our newborn to show to everyone over Christmas. Our little angel was due December 18th. There was the hope that we might have gotten pregnant in the meantime and would have some happy news to still share this Christmas with everyone but such is not the case. Time will heal, for sure and we have been given the hope that we can get pregnant and should be able to again so I am holding onto that.

    Comment by miraclewaits (original poster) at 11:11 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • It is almost 5 years since my last mc and I still get weepy when I think about the ones I never got to hold. Today I have a beautiful 3 yr old little girl and I am thankful for her everyday. After my 2nd mc I told myself to let it all go. Stop TTC and to heal, I know your body my be ready to try again but you have to allow your head and your heart to be in the same place as your body. Go back to having sex for fun, throw away the charts and ovualtions kits and the thermometer and just get back to down and dirty whoopie. get back to doing it because it feels good not because your temp is right and the chart says to. Never forget the ones you lost, celebrate them acknowledge them and move forward. they will always be with you. Good luck with your journey and I wish you all the best.

    Answer by melliesmom1207 at 12:10 AM on Nov. 25, 2010