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How can I be attracted to my husband like I was 10 years ago :(

I have been feeling way less attracted to my husband for the past 2 years now...We have been together since we were 14 and we were crazy about eachother! Before we had our 1st DD in 2007 my DH was 100 lbs and 5'1 now he is is 175 and is still 5'1! I hate that it has come down to his appearance I feel terrible :(

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mommaofemma

Asked by mommaofemma at 10:21 PM on Nov. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,059 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Remember what attracted you to him in the first place, beyond the physical
    sam223

    Answer by sam223 at 10:22 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • i dont think you should feel terrible for that. IMO, being overweight is not attractive. obviously you still love and care about him, but you can help that physically not being healthy and taking care of yourself is not attractive. you should tell him that you want to start eating right and exercising together so that you are healthy. exercising also releases endorphines that you make you feel good & be happy, and sex is great right after a good work out.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:23 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Well, you first have to realize that the feeling of "lust" never lasts in any relationship. By now you should have developed a genuine love for your husband built out of respect and friendship. It's not about how he looks. It's about what he's like to you and your family. If he's a good man, you should count yourself lucky and never think back. What he was in the past, is to be kept there, in the past. We can't all be like we were in high school. Memories are just that, memories. We all grow, we all put on weight and most of all, we will all get AND look older. I'm really sorry you feel like you do, that's sad.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 10:24 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I have tried I mean he is still a nice man and a great father but when it comes to getting it on its like torture :(
    mommaofemma

    Comment by mommaofemma (original poster) at 10:24 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Ive love 2 times before this current future hubby, Stop looking at him as he was in the past , their was one time , silly as it maybe , hubby one was cleanning closet out he tturns to meand took my breath away like it was the first time right their and then. make a list o why you fell inlove with him. what makes you love him, looks fade but the heart is a constent, work of art. I wish I still had hubby 1 and 2 but god needed them more then I but I hold each in a speical place in my heart. hope this helps.
    scottie45

    Answer by scottie45 at 10:29 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • ummm i have been with dh 12 yrs we have been married for 4. when we met he was very skinny as was i. when we got married and had ds in 07 i gained a lot of weight went from 145 to 210. hubby went from 130 to 156 now. i had another baby in 08 and have been losing the weight. he hasnt but i try and get him to take walks with me just to walk and talk. we also try to eat health and recently have tried to spice up our love life. try to spice things up and see how that goes
    knagsmom

    Answer by knagsmom at 10:57 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • when i got married i weight 125lbs and hubby weight 155lbs 31yrs later and 5kids later i weight 155lbs and hubby is 175
    and love as much as i did when i first meet him ,and sex is great and i don't look at him as weight ,wow he's hot
    so if you change the way you look at your hubby then you might think he's hot
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 11:30 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Pick a diet plan and announce that both of you are going on it. I assume you do the shopping &cooking? Or at least make the shopping lists? Do Atkins or something you think he'll stick to and but a wii Fit or Xbox Kinect etc and start exercising together.

    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:02 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I couldn't have said it better myself Orionsgirl but don't do Atkins. I use to be a fitness trainer and the Atkins diet is the worse diet in the world. Actually, anything that says "diet" is bad and using the word "diet" when talking to him will just send off red flags. Just change your eating habits. Don't even tell him about it, just do it and when he asks, tell him YOU did if for yourself and that having him join you just makes it that much easier.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 6:29 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • spend some time apart ... thats the best thing imo.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:11 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

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