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how do you deal with the favoritism

I'm asking because My MIL favors her granddaughter. She doesn't hide it and she sees nothing wrong with what she is doing. My son is 2. 1/2 and he is starting to notice it. He never wants to go over to his nana's house because she is always putting him in time out over everything but if my son's niece does the same thing my MIL doesn't do anything. She is always buying things for her granddaughter and she never gets anything for my son. And she buys this stuff in front of my son. She acts like she doesn't want to spend anytime with my son. She is is always going on and on about how her granddaughter is better and smarter than my son. It's really starting to bother me and my DH. I've talked to her about how it seems favors her granddaughter over my son and i explained i don't want her to favor one over the other. It would just be nice to treat them equally. My Dh has even talked to his mother and there is still no changed. The hardest part about the whole thing is how my son now notices everything and he keeps asking why Nana is like that and i don't know what to say. All i know right now is that she is driving me crazy. so what can i do to help my son out? it's starting to break my heart seeing his face when she does this

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Asked by Justins_mommy05 at 10:29 PM on Nov. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,027 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Do you have other family close your son could bond with? I would not have him spend a lot of time with someone who treats him this way. I'm so sorry that both of you have to deal with this. Good luck!

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:38 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I am totally with you..but THANKFULLY we now live 12 hours away from her so we don't deal with it as much anymore! It used to really bug me, and still does to some extent, but sadly there is nothing we can do about it. Just know that your child is getting all the love, attention, gifts, ect that he needs from you and your family and the hell with her! I know it's really sad to watch and my daughter is also at the age where she is noticing. Last Christmas we went to her house on Christmas Eve and the kids sat opening gifts.. My daughter got a dollar store squirt gun and a coloring book while her other grand son sat there opening huge lego sets, DVDs, and video games for his xbox. She looked like she wanted to cry. It's tough explaining things like to kids. Maybe just try to limit the visits with her from now on or purposely try to arrange visits when the other grand child isnt around.

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 10:39 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Wow, I can't imagine. If my husband and I had that issue with either set of grandparents, the relationship would end period. Just remind your son that it's not his fault, that he's doing nothing wrong and that Nana is being mean and unfair

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:40 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • he is close to my husbands father but he doesn't get to see that often because of my MIL. And my son is close to my brother but he live about an hour away so we don't get to see him that often. I stopped having my son's weekends with my MIL cause he would always come home sad and he would have such a hard time sleeping and then my DH and i found out she wasn't spending time with him instead she was on the computer the whole time and just letting our kid run around the house doing whatever he wanted to.

    Comment by Justins_mommy05 (original poster) at 10:41 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • WOW! i would have one more little heart to heart with her & if things still continued- i would be Done! Sounds like Grandma needs to Grow-Up & Apologize to your Little Man! That is Terrible-


    Answer by daisyb at 11:06 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • my mil did the same thing with our kids ,when the kids got older they just did not go to her house ,she wanted nothing do with them,and my mom was same way ,i alway told my kids there are great grandparents then there ones that are not so hot
    they are the ones who loses

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 11:24 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • Interesting to hear a 2 and a half yr old is that deep. It sounds more like he hears you talking about it

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

  • I have had that happen to me be4 my son was young & I stop letting my son go 2 that person house. I thought no1 is going to treat my son that way. It is my job to protect my son & protect his heart. I wld not let any1 treat my child like that & if it meant not letting him go around her anymore then so be it. It's her choice if you have told her & she continues 2 treat him like he is nothing then be done with her. When he gets older & can make his own choices & can fend for himself until then I wldn't let her around him. A child should not be made to feel like that.

    Answer by Shelbegto at 4:10 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Keep him as far away from the hag as humanly possible. Eventually, she will ask why your not coming around or bringing him around and when she tell her "because we asked you time and time again, to not treat him this way (explain again cause she's sounds dense) and you still continued that behavior and since he started asking why you treat him like that...for his welfare...we thought this step would be the best. Beside, since you don't really care about him, not seeing him shouldn't really be an issue for you."

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 6:26 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I think for his emotional health and well being, you need to keep him far far away from her. She is not well, and he is too little to not internalize this. He will think he is a bad boy. Be there for him, keep her away from him.

    Answer by salexander at 12:01 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

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