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I left....

My boyfriend was doing somethings that he shouldn't of been doing, like calling me names, yelling and grabbing me, this has been going on for awhile, but finally i decided to leave and scare him alittle. Its been about two days since i left and he hasn't called me, came to find me ( he knows where i'm at), or even called to ask about his son. I just wanted to make him see that i would leave if i needed to , but its backfiring and it seems like he dosent wanna talk and get back together. I"m getting really depressed. What should i do? Just let it go? Give him more time : why should i, i didnt do anything... help please.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on Nov. 4, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Hang in there. You don't want your son raised around that and it sounds like you did the right thing. As hard as it is stay away. Give yourself time to think and reassess. I'm sure he just expects you to come running back in a couple of days. If he doesn't call then it's probably for the best. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Talk with your family and close friends and get their oppinions...they can see it from a different perspective. YOU deserve better. Good luck!

    chupachyps

    Answer by chupachyps at 9:30 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Give him time. Hes prob hurting and doesnt want to swollow his pride. I was in the SAME situation last year and it took my bf a week to make any contact. Now we are back together and even though things are a little better Im questioning our relationship. Dont rush it. You need to give yourself your own time to think. Maybe thats what hes trying to do. If he doesnt contact you after a while then consider yourslef lucky that you took your son and yourself out of that environment. You both need to be happy and if the home is toxic then its bad for your son. GL I feel for ya :) Msg me if you need to vent! :)
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 9:31 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • If he was treating you like that, you need to stay away. The fact that he hasn't at least called tells me he's thinking you'll come crawling back to him, and if that happens, nothing will change in his behaviour. Stick to your guns. There's a man out there who will love you and treat you the way you should be treated. You may have dodged a bullet here.
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 9:31 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Stop. If this boyfriend LOVED you like you deserved to be loved he wouldn't have hurt you, called you names, or made you feel the way you are explaining. You are worth more than that. Take this time to analyze what YOU not only WANT from a relationship, but also what you DESERVE. My husband is fantastic. He hasn't ever called me a name or hurt me intentionally (physically or emotionally). If this guy hasn't called, good. This is your sign. Sadly, it may hurt, because ending a relationship, whether it was healthy or not, is going to hurt, but take the time to heal and move onto something better. The RIGHT guy is out there looking for you, just as you are looking for him. Good luck and hang in there!
    GNMom88

    Answer by GNMom88 at 9:31 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • he's calling your bluff. at this point, if he stays away, I'd call that a win, bc he's obviously abusive and not committed to the relationship. if he comes for you, you hold the power to insist on anger management, or couples counseling or something. but don't go back on a promise that things will be better. he's got to prove he truly realizes what he did was absolutely unacceptable and get help to make sure it isn't repeated.


    as an aside, faking a break up to try and make him feel bad or whatever you were trying was ill-conceived and immature. I hope you've learned something from this too.


    GL and I hope it all works out for you and your fmaily.

    teri4lance

    Answer by teri4lance at 9:37 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • sounds like he didn't love you much so why would you want him back. count your blessings and find another man who will complete you and actually love you. never let a man treat you like that. you did right just make sure you stick to your guns.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:43 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • If he treats you that way now...how will it be next year...and do you want your son to grow up with little or no respect for women? because that's what that behavior teaches him. another thing, the bf must not have a good relationship with his son because he hasn't even checked on him, my bf calls everyday to check on our son and he still did so when I left him ....we're back together now but we found a way around or through our problems.....but if it's verbal or physical abuse you don't need it and neither does your son
    JuliaDanielle

    Answer by JuliaDanielle at 10:19 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Stop! Think about this for a minute. He was calling you names and grabbing you. This is abuse, and it won't go away or get better...it will, I promise you, get worse. You are in the best situation you could be in...your already out!! Stay out!!! Put him out of your mind. I know these abusive types, you don't need him.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 12:06 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • It sounds like your getting some great advice here. You should really take it & give yourself some time away from this guy. This was always a possibility that your boyfriend would react this way. You had made the right choice so be positive in your decision. I know it's hard to leave someone you care about EVEN when it's for a little while but a good relationship doesn't start out with name calling or yelling & never has a positive ending either. If ANY bad relationship was easy to leave, I can assure you that there would be a lot of women out there who would no longer take the abuse that they have built their lives around. Do yourself one favor & take this time to heal, Mentally & Physically. Find something to keep yourself busy & a friend that you can talk to & someone that you really respect, that wont bash or have smart remarks. You need to talk to the ones who will give you smart advice that you can use.
    onespecialmom

    Answer by onespecialmom at 12:32 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

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