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What to do about the pregnant bridesmaid?

One of my bridesmaids, my fiance's cousin, is pregnant. I'm streessing because the dresses we got for the bridesmaids are already bought and she is the one who picked them out. She already had to lose 20lbs to fit in the dress, so i'm thinking that she might not work. Except when I asked her if she really thinks that she could do it, she said yes. She won't back out and I don't want to cause a rift. HELP!!

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calibeka

Asked by calibeka at 9:27 PM on Nov. 4, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • have her get a coordinating dress that will go with the other bridesmaids
    teri4lance

    Answer by teri4lance at 9:29 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Yeah, I agree with having her get a coordinating dress. I had a 9 months pregnant bridesmaid in my wedding. She chose an A-Line gown that looked beautiful on her. It was the same color as the other dresses and she looked lovely.
    StarLee

    Answer by StarLee at 9:32 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I was a bridesmaid at 7 months pregnant. Another bridesmaid in the same wedding was 8 months. What a hoot! We both offered to step out though, and yours should too if the dresses are bought and she can't fit into hers. Maybe pointing out that she will have to buy another dress will help her make that decision.

    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 9:34 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I lucked out in this department. My sister-in-law was eight months pregnant in my wedding, and I was able to order her a maternity gown. I had chosen a color and a designer and let each bridesmaid choose her own dress (how else do you dress people from 16 to 44, sizes 4 to 18?!). It ended up being one of my favorite things about my wedding! If you can't switch to a larger or maternity dress for her, maybe see if you can buy some fabric from the designer and create a panel for her belly. My sister did that for a bridesmaid in her wedding, and it worked pretty well.

    Otherwise, the suggestion of the other girls wasn't bad, either! It'll be obvious why she's dressed differently, so no big deal!
    KatieCrandall

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 9:38 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • can you let it out again or have her just get another one. this could work towards you advantage cause when the big day comes and it doesn't fit she will be forced to back out and you never had to say anything.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:41 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • My best EX best friend asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding and i found out a bit later that I was pregnant.... so I told her I was gonna go get my dress when I had an idea about how big id be and she said GREAT blah blah blah!! So then I went and got mine and my daughters dresses... she was the flowergirl.....Anyway our mothers are friends and work together and her mom showed mine the wedding programs and I wasnt in the bridesmaids part I was way down at the bottem listed as an honorary bridesmaid!! WTF!!! she couldnt even tell me she kicked me outta her wedding cause I was pregnant!! She still to this day has never said im sorry or anything about it what so ever!! Sorry but i think you being selfish just like her.... when you ask someone you make it work unless they back out or something horrible happens you can get a dress the same color to go with the other BM's and it will look just fine!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 9:52 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • another reason not to buy clothing before you can actually fit into them...if the dress can be let out, or another dress purchased that coordinates, at least in color, i'd do that. offer what you can suggest, but don't just cheat her out of the wedding party. unless you are a bridezilla, you may regret not having her in the wedding just because of this situation. remember, her hormones are not good, and she could cry forever...do you want to cause her that, just to have a 'good-looking' bridesmaid party? apparently you're both planning on being family, so remember that family rifts can be lasting and makes the holidays nauseating.
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 9:57 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I was never planning on kicking her out, i want her to be in it. i just wish that she hadn't been so adament about the dress, its mermaid style. Not trying to be selfish, just trying to think up a solution.
    calibeka

    Answer by calibeka at 10:03 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • ooh..mermaid simply won't do...not with a bump...if you have time, i'd start seaching everywhere for a different dress..if you know a good seamstress, or perhaps your formal-wear store can direct you to one, call her/him and find out what they may be able to do with the dress, to add, or 'adjust' the shape..she's gonna need more room..good luck
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 10:09 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • wow. On the flip side my sister in law is getting married in June and my husband and I are both in the wedding and also ttc this month. I went for my dress fitting last wek and called then when I got home and explained that (with luck) I might be about 7 months pregnant for her wedding. They told me that as soon as I find out OR as soon as the dresses come in from the initial fitting I am to come for another fitting. I ordered the dress 2 sizes too big JUST INCASE because dresses are easier to take in than let out. I am not telling her anything until its official and if he kicked me out b/c I was pregnant with her future niece/nephew, I would be completely offended and would most likely never forgive her.
    BLoNdIe121679

    Answer by BLoNdIe121679 at 10:31 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

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