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How do I find it in me to show my husband respect... adult content

when all he does is treat me like shit!?!
He tells me to show him respect and then he'd be nice but how do I do it? Really?
I can't respect someone who'd call be a crazy, stupid, cunt bc he made plans with me after he'd already made plans with his dad, it's not my fault he made the mistake. and yeah i'm going to be upset that I get the shaft, I guess his dad is more important all the time than following through with me.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:38 AM on Nov. 23, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • He doesn't respect you, so how could you respect him? Respect must be earned, it's not just given. Are you happy with this man or can you picture your future without him in it? If you can see your future without him, then it is time to go. Go to a woman's shelter or a counseling center, etc...somewhere they can help you make arrangements to leave. Get a job, even if it is only part-time, and stash taht money away somewhere safe & as cash. Can you call family or friends to take you in until you can get on your feet? Honestly, you need to get out of this relationship.
    mom2aspclboy

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 9:50 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I have been married 3 times the first 2 were abusive. Please this is not a good relationship 4 you to be in get out of it, No1 needs to be treated in such a manner U can not respect some1 who dose not respect U. U don't need this there are men out there who will treat U better & they are out there.
    Shelbegto

    Answer by Shelbegto at 2:55 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I'd tell him that respect and trust and all that good stuff work BOTH ways. If he wants it, then he has to give it. Why should you have to initiate that in order for him to start? It's the golden rule: treat others how you would like to be treated. If he cannot accept that, then I, personally, would find it difficult to be in that kind of a relationship.
    Chocolatespring

    Answer by Chocolatespring at 3:03 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • He's good though, tomorrow he will be SO damn sweet and convince me that he'll work on it!
    I'm just scared to not be around when he has our daughter for visitations if I leave. I KNOW he will end up a jerk to her too. and then I wont be able to protect her.
    I have nothing in my name, no job, only a high school diploma, no money.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:06 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Get out fast. Save any money you can. DO you have family? Friends? If thinking of that makes you scared DONT EVER leave your baby girl with him. Get suppervised visits or at first make him visit with her somewhere in public or with you there or neir by....hope this helps. Please know THEY NEVER CHANGE.....I know believe me...God Bless you
    Mrs.Norris

    Answer by Mrs.Norris at 3:28 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • ((hugs)) I am really sorry you are being treated poorly. Please find a way to get counseling or some kind of encouragement for yourself.
    blessedwithree

    Answer by blessedwithree at 3:33 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Go to a women's shelter if you need to . They can advise you and offer help.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 5:02 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Double hugs here! This is absolutely an abusive situation. Now you my dear can do anything you want but as far as your daughter...it is your job to protect her and if you want to put up with the asshole then so be it, but there is no reason in the world that your daughter has to deal with this just because you can't find the courage to get out. Good luck!
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 5:36 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • first off he don't respect you and I think that's why you can't respect him. That being said yes being called names is mental abuse you don't deserve that. I probably have a long talk with him and tell him you don't feel important to him and you don't appreciate being called names and if it don't stop you're taking your kids and leaving. I know how hard it is to want to leave but something is holding you back it's not easy adn it never will be. You probably need to leave to show him you're serious maybe he'll realize what he had once it's gone but ultimatly it's up to you whether you leave or not don't let nobody on this site tell you what to do it has to be soley ur decision.
    chica679

    Answer by chica679 at 7:15 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • We are all responsible for our own behavior and actions. The question you have to ask yourself is do you want to be in this relationship and is it worth it? Is he a good person inside that has made mistakes? Or is he a bad person? Only ou know that. If he is a good person, then you have to lay down the law and say no more name calling at all. He has to be willing to do that. Then you have to forgive and only focus on yourself and how you treat him. Tell him the things you appreciate about him. Focus on what he does well and try to not focus on what he lacks. No nagging or yelling. If you need to speak your mind, think about what you want to say to him and do so in the most positive and nonconfrontational way. Keep it simply and consider his feelings. If he is a bad person, leave.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:38 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

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