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How would you approach disciplining this behavior?

My 12 yo got some pull away sports pants and yesterday in school was caught in the hall pulling her pants down (she had shorts on under them) in front of a couple of boys. Is this what boys wear under these kinds of pants or something. She was talked to by the teacher and told it was inappropriate and the teacher talked to the boys and they said it was just a joke but I don't think it was a good joke at all. It would have been bad if she had done it in front of her girlfriends to show them her shorts but in front of 2 boys I think it's worse. What would you think and what kind of discipline would you do???? Oh, she's totally too old for this kind of joke/behavior

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:50 AM on Nov. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • It sounds to me that it is time to have THE TALK with her. Trust me i have a 13 yrs old and they know a lot more then what we think they know. So maybe just review things that she has heard and maybe explain to her that her body is her personal space and if she doesn't want someone in her space then she needs to speak up and take control of that situation.

    Answer by raemommy at 4:07 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • rae is exactly right.. I dont have a older child mine is only a toddler, but being exposed to alot of child sex offender files through work and study its not fun to look at. Children are young and although you think they should know better they can get groomed by others to be an act a certain way.. you need to tell her although the kids didn't see her privates it is not really the point. it is innappropriate and the boys may get the wrong idea. Its her personal parts and no one should be looking at them or near them, specially at such a young age.. I hope you can chat to her without her getting upset. just do it in a nice way not a scolding way and hopefully she will understand. goodluck.

    Answer by Weldo1983 at 6:32 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I do not think that discipline is appropriate. She needs to be talked to. You need to find out what made her do it. Teach her what is okay and why. What action did the school take?

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:58 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I don't know about this, what was going on that she took her pants off? I mean was it hot, was there some kind of practice, or just gym class? I may have to sweep this one under the mat, cause it just doesn't seem like as bad as it seems to me. I'd have to think of circumstances, and things. Talk to your child, cause something doesn't seem right to me. I'd think that at 12, yeah we have some rotten kids, but it's not like she's going to strip, or jump on a pole or something for money w/ a room of 12 yr olds is it? Good luck, hope it all works out for you.

    Answer by b_stotka at 9:50 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Am I missing something? She had shorts on, right? I mean, actual shorts that she could wear alone as appropriate outerwear? And if she did wear them as outerwear, anyone who saw her would have seen her in them? Doesn't seem like the worst thing to me. I realize pulling your pants down for boys (or anyone) is very undesirable behavior, but listen to her about the circumstances before reacting. I suppose there could be an innocent reason for doing it. If not, if there was some sexual undertone to it, then have a good talk about things with her and (hopefully) refresh what you've been teaching her all along about sexuality and appropriate behavior. Our society worships sexual promiscuity (watch any tv show, movie, magazine and billboard ads) and you'll be exposed to a slew of images and messages that validate the idea that women must be sexually pleasing. I mean, Playboy makes legitimate celebrities out of women who get

    Answer by DivaDynamite at 10:49 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • naked for money. Halle Berry didn't get any respect in Hollywood until she did soft core porn scenes in Monster's Ball, now she's on the A List. With these messages barraging our daughters, they need a lot of help and support not to yield to them.

    Good luck. Hope it all works out.

    Answer by DivaDynamite at 10:50 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

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