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Addiction vs Addiction adult content

I posted a question yesterday asking if sex addiction is a real addiction. Most everyone agreed that it was indeed an addiction. With that general overall feeling what makes it worse then any other addiction? My husband was confronted, confessed and is now seeking help (his decision). He is a great husband and father. If he had a drinking or drug problem I would stick by him as he tried to get help. But with this issue I waver from minute to minute. With any addiction it will take alot of time and outside resources to resolve. There is always a chance of relapse etc.... I'm confused, hurt, worried, and mad as hell. Any comments and/or advice welcome.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:15 AM on Nov. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Im sorry to hear that you are going through thtis, I wish I had some good advice to give you... All I can say is that if he is willing to get the help he needs, you should be supportive and try to stick by his side expecially if he is this good husband and father that you say he is... jmo

    Answer by AingealsBabies at 8:19 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • This is just an addiction like any other, only the subject matter is different, they can be helped, so if you want to save your marriage help him get help.

    Answer by older at 8:20 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • All I can say is that If I were you, I would stick by him while he was trying to get help. BUT, I will say this, I am but one woman who will deal with so much. Just like any other addiction once you start to backslide espcially when it comes to stepping out on me (ew dont bring me home something you cant cure) then Im out. I will be there as long as i can see your trying and improving but I will not stay to watch it continually cycle through!

    Forgiving will be hard, but forgetting will be harder. You need to go to therapy with him too, This has affected you just as much as him!! But be thankful he has brought attention to his problem and wants help. And PLEASE do NOT throw it back in his face!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 8:44 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • It's worse because it's an intimate addiction. An alcoholic backslides, it's easy (relatively speaking) to move on from that. A sex addict slides? Way more personal and hard to accept. This is going to be a hard road for you, I think that it would be harder (emotionally) to go through recovery with a sex addict than any other type of addiction. Sex is pretty central to married couples. I don't know if they have an "Al-Anon" type program for sex addicts spouses, but something like that would be helpful for you. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

    Answer by Scuba at 8:52 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Thank you ladies. I go back and forth - Am I a strong supportive wife or am I a naive, blinded, enabler? Not a question I want an anwser to , just my internal thoughts.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:55 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Sorry to hear this :-( I cannot imagine having to go through this myself, but you obviously sound like you are a very understanding and loving woman, to stick by your husband through such a difficult time. I hope that he gets the help he needs and that your marriage can make a full recovery. :-) Wishing you the best!! <3

    Answer by sugaree at 9:15 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • If he were just a drug addict or an alcohol addict you'd be ok with supporting his addiction but you don't support the fact the man has an addiction you don't understand? Sorry but that makes no sense to me. Sexual addiction is pure torment and even those going through it don't understand it. It's hot helpful if our partner thinks we are lying about it. Either help the man or not but don't make him think you are going to be his moral support then pull the rug out from under him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I get why you would be conflicted. An alcholic, food or drug addict is mostly hurting themselves and you can be just worried about THEM and angry. A sex addict is often also having sex with anyone. When you are married, this is cheating and now in addition to worrying about your SO you have to worry about disease, crazy stalkers and the heart break of being cheated on with some easy skank.

    It is harder than another addiction for you to deal with. It is okay for you to say that and seek counsiling yourself.

    Answer by Niki_sd at 9:26 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Scuba hit the nail on the head. Sex addiction is far more detrimental to marriages, far more personally damaging to the partner.

    I am so sorry and I hope you find the strength to to what's best for you. That may be not staying with him. Figure out if you can really live with his relapses. He won't just be smoking a joint, it'll be a lot more intimate than that.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 9:28 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I don't personally understand any addiction. I am fortunate enough to of never had such an issue or had to deal with any to speak of. Trust me though I fully understand the torment my husband is going through. We sit together every night and talk about this. I see his guilt, fear, tears and remorse. I have never accused him of lying. In fact I thanked him for coming clean and being honest. In return I am being very honest with him. He knows the pain he has caused and is thankful for my support but understands if it is more than I can deal with. If our marriage can not see this through (and I hope that is not the case) I will be standing right next to him as his best friend and mother of his children. No rug will be pulled out from underneath him. I love this man and that has not changed.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:28 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

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