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3 Bumps

having some intimacy issues with dh...sorry kind of long adult content

we've been married for almost 2 years and were having sex for about 2 years before that. ive always known he's a tad selfish in the oral dept. he loves getting head and i never mind giving it to him but in all the time we've been together he's gone down on me 3 times! he knows i love oral and it's a big fetish of mine. i have never complained about how little he pleases me in that area. but lately i feel he's being too selfish. his idea of getting in the mood is "blow me baby, get it started and then we'll fuck" which is ok but i know it's his way of getting a bj. we can "get it started" in other ways like making out or using hands...but he insists on getting head first. its like hello maybe i need a little oral too to get started, im not an automatic faucet! ill admit it doesn't take much for me to get wet though but still it's the principal. he got upset with me last night because i was honestly tired and didn't feel like giving him head. he got mad and rolled over and that was that. i wanted to be like "yea, how does it feel?" ya know? idk what to do about this. feel like we're in a rough patch right now with his take take take mindframe.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:44 AM on Nov. 23, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • OMG What a selfish ____!#% You need to call bullshit on poor thing..he needs to care about your satisfaction just as much as you care about his, you might have an orgasm every time if he went down on you first..what an ass, don't put up with that another minute!!!

    Answer by chocolatluver at 10:02 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Tell him he is selfish and it is not doing much for your sex life, and explain how it affects the relationship.

    Answer by older at 8:53 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • You need to talk to him about what you like, how you feel, and how he makes you feel.

    Answer by Scuba at 8:55 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • wow, if my SO had a son I'd say it was my SO's son! Some guys are just selfish. I've given in and accepted it. Perhaps your dh is young enough to listen if you talk with him about it. Sometimes I just tell SO it's getting a bit imbalanced and to fix it. He does but quickly goes back to being selfish. Good luck with this

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:12 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Some men have a strong personality. Mine does. With a man like that you have to ask for what you want and insist! My DH wouldn't give me oral and I would give it to him. At one point I just quit. He acted like a boy who had his toy taken from him. I stood my ground and he caved eventually. Turns out he is awesome at oral. Now it is a mutual thing. If he starts lagging, ii lag. Also as for not cumming during sex. You need to teach that man some manners. Ladies always go first. I can't imagine having sex with my DH and not getting mine as well. What is the point for you? Why do it then? Stand up for yourself. He will trspect you more for it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • in that situation my lips would be SEALED. yeah pun intended .

    Answer by maya123 at 11:31 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • No head for him! Come back one year!

    Answer by salexander at 11:38 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • HE IS VERY SELFISH! What man dont want to satisfy their women? Was he doing this before you all got married because if he was then there is nothing to complain about. I would have asked while we were changing vows that if I go down on you you have to go down on me....bottomline. Stop giving him head and see how he feels...

    Answer by mom42107 at 12:22 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Honey; take that damned doormat off your back! Quit giving him head; tell him that your are tired of being the giver and never being satisfied your self. Tell him that if he can't/won't do for you-he can do for himself! Then I would lay there and masturbate myself while he was rolled over with his ass facing me. My husband was having a wild dream one night-I woke to him moaning and moving his hips with a big ol' hard one! I climbed on top being careful not to wake him-and he just thought it was part of his dream. He opened his eyes and seemed surprised to see me up there-just about the time I finished! I climbed off-said "That's one for me"-rolled over and went to sleep! I still laugh at the look on his face!

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 1:56 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • oops..forgot to mark as "tmi" sorry!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:45 AM on Nov. 23, 2010