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3 Bumps

Not getting on with my sister

My older sister and I have always been close, I babysat for all her children when I was a teenager and her and her husband did very well financially, built a nice big house in the country and she had everything she could ask for. I worked hard, met my husband and we had twin boys through IVF. Now I have my own family things have changed between us, her husbands company has gone bust and they are living on the breadline, I have been there for her and offererd her support but this last year she is constantly bickering to my other family members about me, as always it gets back to me and I am terribly upset. I havent done anything but be there for her and I now feel like there is a huge wedge between us. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around her. The latest blow came when I asked my parents to christmas dinner but said if they decide to go elsewhere it was no problem. My sister went absolutely nuts and stared saying I did this out of malice and went behind her back. Should I have to consult with her for every decision I make. I cant do right for doing wrong. We were always so close, I told her everything and now I feel so distant from her it hurts deeply. We sorted things out the other week but I know she still seems to have a problem with me...PLASE HELP, WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW???

Answer Question
 
neady

Asked by neady at 10:43 AM on Nov. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I'm sure she's stressed out right now and hard on herself, possibly bitter about not being on top of the world anymore. She might not realize how she is making you feel, and possibly feels like you are trying to show her up. Whatever you do, don't brag about what you have that she doesn't and just be the friend she needs right now.
    sweet29mom

    Answer by sweet29mom at 10:50 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • i think you should back off and let your sister calm down.....it sounds like she is going though a lot right know and weather she knows it or not is dealling with the stress by lashing out at you .....just be there for her when she realize life does get better you just have to find a way to adjust......
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 10:50 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • She's probably stressed about money and feels like she has no one to talk to. Maybe she's lonely and frustrated. You should try leveling with her and see if there's any help or advice you can give to make her feel better. Maybe she just wants to spend QT with you but doesn't know how to ask.... Good luck!
    sugaree

    Answer by sugaree at 10:53 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Thanks for all your answers. I do think it has a lot to do with what her and her husband are going through at the minute. I backed off about 6 months ago and I miss her so much but there is still this huge gap between us. We see each other maybe once a fortnight in my parents house and we get on okay but I feel like I have to hold back as I know how sensitive she is lately. I guess I should just give her some more time and be here for her if she ever does need me. :) xxx
    neady

    Comment by neady (original poster) at 11:00 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • sounds like she's stressed out and maybe even a little jealous of you, and its all coming out towards you.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 11:09 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Write her a letter. This way you can express your feelings without her getting defensive or interupting you.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:35 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • That is a really good idea. What would I say or how would I start it.. This is just so difficult :(
    neady

    Comment by neady (original poster) at 11:51 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

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