Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Question about Sex issues after having baby!! adult content

Sorry if this is TMI, but I warned you!! && I didn't feel comfortable asking this anywhere else.. because I know at least some women on here will understand! lol

Since having Bella our sex life has been what I would rate as a liitttlle more than good. We are still completely attracted to each other and into having sex with eachother.. and we still have good sex.. there are just some things that aren't the same.

1st- I can no longer orgasm without at least some self-stimulation helping me out. I have always been one of those unlucky women who are harder to get to reach that point.. but DH used to be able to get me there all by himself at least SOME of the time.. and always orally.. now it's even hard then! What is the deal?? I miss how it was before.. and I know it makes him feel inadequate sometimes.

2nd- I have a harder time getting "wet" down there before we start.. and a harder time keeping the moisture after we've been going for a little while.
It's not that I'm not turned on.. I really am.. but I used to be all ready after a couple kisses and touches and now he's really gotta put some work in and sometimes still no result. Again, I can tell he's feeling inadequate now.. and it is frustrating for me as well.

I feel like I shouldn't be having these issues, as I am only 21! I never had any of these problems until after I had DD.. but she is 14 months old now.. shouldn't it be better by now??

Have any of you gone through this.. and what did you do to fix it?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Nov. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Give it time, your hormones may still be out of whack. I had a tough time for a while after I had my youngest.
    sweet29mom

    Answer by sweet29mom at 11:17 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Do you find that you are inclined to be very focused on things like what your body looks like, what's changed and whether or not Bella is sleeping soundly still?

    Every single one of those distractions pulls you out of the moment, puts your internal Editor's hat on so you can evaluate everything going on, and distances you from how what is happening feels.

    If you hadn't mentioned the lack of lubrication, I wouldn't have thought of it, but that is a particular indication that you're just not getting aroused the way you used to --and that's pretty normal. You now have the delightful task of learning to focus enough on what is happening in your body to 'let go' into arousal while also keeping an ear out to what else is happening in your home. It takes practice, but who doesn't like that kind of practice?

    You do, though, have to stop wondering what he's thinking about the changes in your body at that particular moment.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:19 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I was the same way after my daughter and she is now 3 years and my sex drive is out of control. I had to be mental and physical attractive before I can get it on with someone. But imagine having a high sex drive and no one to complete the task....well that is me. Try watching XXX and other sex toys that may excite you. Take your time and help ur body reach that point. I have other things in mind but TMI for the public eye.
    mom42107

    Answer by mom42107 at 11:22 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • It is likely that you are experiencing the effects of a vitamin and mineral deficiency that resulted from your pregnancy. More than 70% of women do experience this and it usually goes undetected because people automatically jump straight to thinking it's a hormonal imbalance. Increasing your intake of food sources of Omega-3, Omega-6, zinc, B vitamins, iron, calcium and magnesium may help you. All of these directly relate to nervous system health, sex drive and sexual response. Reducing stress would also be a good idea, as the production of cortisol eats up your body stores of essential fatty acids and choline. Caffeine destroys inositol, one of the precursors for the neurotransmitters serotonin and acetylcholine, and caffeine is a vasoconstrictor, which will reduce blood flow to the "happy zone". If you would like more information on this subject, please PM me.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:24 AM on Nov. 23, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN