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6 Bumps

OMG ... I do not know how to act or feel... I just do not know what to do .......

We got a letter yesterday ( followed with a phone call ) ..... that my husband has a 6 year old daughter ( we have been together / married for 5 ) .... Her mother just let him / us know for the first time... my husband was stunned and i think he is still in shock ! She lives 7 hours away and says that there is no doubt in her mind that my husband is the father, but she never told him because her husband was raising her but now they have divorced and he found out that the girl is not his...

She said that she doesnt want or expect us to be in her life ( but then I dont think she would have let us know??) ... she just wanted my husband to know that he has a kid out there ( we also have 4 year old twins) ....

My husband of course wants to get paternity and we want to have a relationship with her... what do we legally do to get the paternity ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Nov. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • Wow! I don't know, but good luck!

    Answer by mompam at 12:46 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • There really isn't anything you can do about custody after the child is 3 years old, but you could still get dna testing done and hopefully start a relationship.

    Answer by sweet29mom at 12:46 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I had someone close to me who went through something like this the little boy was 13 yrs old when they found out. They end up getting a lawyer and having a DNA test done because the mom was being difficult. Good Luck!

    Answer by nicjon at 12:50 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • You Could file papers with family court. First thing they will do is a DNA test. Then if he is the file he can request custody and fight for it. Save that letter. If they say he didn't care before and was never a part of her life then he can show he didn't even know. The court will probably set up child support as well.
    Wow - good luck with everything.

    Answer by Jessica45 at 12:53 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I agree with Jessica45. This will probably put a strain on relationship once things get started. Stay strong together. Your husband probably has a whirlwind of emotions right now and we lash out at the ones we love. This entire situation is not fair, it is not fair to you, your husband, the child, or the ex husband. The mother was very selfish and evyone is paying for it. Be there for your husband the best you can and tell him that you need him to be there for you. Good luck sweety! I will keep your family in y prayers.

    Answer by Conley639 at 1:03 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Did the other father say the baby was his in the hospital? If so, even if it's not his, he now has parental rights. Including the requirement to pay child support (the other father) Also, this would make it very hard for your DH to get any rights through the court.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 1:03 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Intriguing... real life is always so much more interesting than soap operas.

    I'd talk to a lawyer familiar with your state's family law. Everything will come out of that.

    Answer by LindaClement at 1:05 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Contact a family law attorney

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:09 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • candi1024 --- I am not sure about the details about the husband .... she just said that he has been raising her and now is not taking care of her and they havent seen him in months...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:10 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Call a lawyer ASAP!

    Answer by Memigen at 1:12 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

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