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2 Bumps

is it wrong to ask for help?

two of my kids live with my mother who has had gaurdianship for almost 11 years it took me a while to get back on my feet and become better i am ready to get my kids back n have contacted a lawyer who is willing to take on my case however coming up with all the money at once is becoming an would it be wrong to still try getting them back since the money for the lawyer is not there right now?? does that mean i am still not able to care for them since i cant truely afford a lawyer? i have the money to pay my bills n get the things the kids need i even have lots of friends and family who gather clothes to donate to my children so again does this mean im still not ready to have all of my kids together??? please dont be mean im just lost with out them n want them back

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Nov. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • Oh wow is your mom refusing to give them back to you? You can always try and find low cost lawyers in your area or ask friends and family for help. My dad had to help me out when I went through my costody battle with his father the retainer fee alone was $2,000.00 so I know its hard but I am sure you can find one waaaaaaay cheaper than that.

    Answer by bhoward87 at 1:37 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I think it's hard for alot of us right now. Can't you get legal assistance that is on a sliding scale. I 'm sure it's hard for you to be without them. What is the situation with your mother ? Maybe you should start slowly . I would imagen it may be a big trasition for your kid's to. i just wish you the best of luck . ..

    Answer by pinkdot at 1:38 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I wish you well. That is great that now you are back on your feet. I wish you a happy holiday season. "HUGS"

    Answer by sta517 at 1:39 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Just because you can't afford a lawyer doesn't mean you can't take care of kids. I'm in a custody battle right now and having difficulty coming up with retainer fee myself, but that doesn't mean I should lose my kids. The cheapest lawyer i could find wants $4,000 plus other costs. Maybe the state or child services could help you out.

    Answer by sweet29mom at 1:41 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • my mother has a fear of being alone i was 16 when i had my daughter and 19 with my son she had already taken my daughter the day she was born for "finacial" reasons she refused to educate me on being a mother cuz my children became her chance at having some1 after all of her kids were grown...that being said i had no clue where to get help with day care food stamps housing or anything to that nature to help take care of my kids since boths fathers had ditched she then got them both & has been giving me a hard time since when i had my toher children i was blessed to have one of them with a wonderful man & he has an awesome family so when things did not work out with him n i they helped me help myself by taking me to appoinments helping with housing n so then i had the education to take care of my next 3 children i have had my 3 youngest for 9 years was a single mom for 6 of those 9 yrs

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:46 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • after becoming more stable i have reenrolled in college my husband works i stay home like i said we have the money for our bills n things the kids may need if there is ever a time that i dont have the money my father helps or my husbands family helps....i am so scared that i will be denied my kids since i cant afford a lawyer do you guys think it would be wise to attempt getting them back with out the aid of a lawyer??

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:50 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • NO. Any time you are dealing with court especially when it involves children, you should have a lawyer. That way you will not have your rights and privileges stepped on. Also no they cannot hold your kids from you for having to ask for help to pay your attorney. That bill will not always be there, especially when you are done with court. Get the help where you can and go for your kids. I had help with paying my attorney. It's fine to ask for help when you need it. Good luck. It will be a hard battle but you will get through it. And never feel bad about asking for help. Oh and question, Do you have legal aide where you are at and if so have you tried to get help from them?

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 3:20 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • First off good for you for getting back on your feet and trying to own up to taking responsibility for your kids. How do your kids feel about coming back to you? Do they have a good life now? I would get a lawyer like the other people have stated but I would do things now to start proving you can take care of them. Are you visiting them every chance you get? Are you transporting them to things they need to be taken to? Are you taking them to Dr visits or is your mother not allowing you to see them at all? If your mom is totally against you and getting your kids back it will be really hard to prove anything to her. I pray the best for you and your kids. :-)


    Answer by mommyqua at 3:27 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Lawyers can be outrageous. Just because you cant't afford a lawyer doesn't mean you shouldn't have your kids. Glad you are back on your feet. Good luck.

    Answer by arenad at 3:37 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • How do your kids feel about coming to live with you? Why didn't you better yourself and get custody back before creating more kid? I personally think you should leave the kids alone kind of too little too late.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

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