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MOTHER (I meant MONSTER) IN LAW !!!!

Does anyone suffer from an over bearing run of the mill, the cord is still attached to her son sort of mother in law?????? SHES NUTS! She calls my husband 10 million times a day, needs to know everything hes doing all the time, and has to control everything. Not to offend anyone but shes a typical Italian mother. She suffacates us with everything and he thinks its normal. He always makes me feel like he puts her before me and we almost didn't get married in '07 b/c she was playing tug of war between him and myself. He grew up with just her and his younger sister (whos engaged now), and his father died young. Thats always the sob story I get when I try and stand up to her. Its like I feel like everything is about them and their little circle and routines and here I am the "outsider." We don't have a life of our own and I feel like he repeats what we talk about in our private life to her. She knows EVERYTHING!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Nov. 4, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • (CONTINUED FROM POSTER) When I try and argue he says " but thats my mother." I'm very stressed out and the movie Monster In LAW doesnt even touch on wtf I deal with. I was going to suggest SHE marry my husband b/c shes up his @ss so much. ANYONE out there have a MIL that they wish would rot on an island far far away?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • My situation is nowhere that bad, but I also wish sometimes my husband would be more defensive of me. I just try to remember that one day I will probably be that horrible mother-in-law and try to let things slide. You need to have a serious talk with your husband and tell him that you don''t like everything being repeated. Maybe there is a way you could find a job in another town so you would have to move away from here. Distance from in-laws is always nice.
    gwood

    Answer by gwood at 11:13 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • i think you need to find your mil another man to occupy her time. see if there is any nice men who are single or ask around. that is what i think would work. sounds like she is lonely for some male attention and everyone is leaving her. she needs somebody.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:56 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • sounds like your mil needs to get laid.. or get a vibrator.. but i know how italian mothers are cuz my baby's "father" is half italian and his mom is nutty.. kinda like portugeuse women
    sunshinebaby209

    Answer by sunshinebaby209 at 12:32 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I hate my mother in law also, just move to another country away from her and never talk to her again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • You knew this before you married him. I totally sympathize, but it is not going to change unless you move or she finds an interest of her own, and it does not sound like she will anytime soon.

    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 6:33 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • It's not that I don't sympathize with you, but if you almost didn't get married because of her, you had a really good idea of what kind of impact she already had on your relationship and would continue to do so. I'm not Italian but from my understanding (have friends that are) families are close, that doesn't, and won't change. Mom is heavily in to all family relations, she's the "Martyr" of the family and all are supposed to come to her for everything they need, she's there, solid as a rock, that's how they're taught and it aint gonna change unless you move away, change your number and don't give her your address because she will show up for visits (loaded with food and supplies as well as orders, instructions). Continued...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • She does it because he loves her son, her grandchildren and she wants her son treated the same as she raised him. It's nuts but it's the way it is and most Italians don't believe in divorce, and even if you get one.... you still get to deal with her because she's not letting those grandkids get away from her (got an Italian on the phone telling me all this stuff) He says she considers you her trainee now, that she thinks it's her job to show you how to care for him and those children (how to do, what to do and when to do). I feel for ya, really I do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I don't know if it'll help you any but one thing about an Italian MIL is that although they may be a pain in your behind, the one thing for sure is that although she's possessive, she'll be the first one to help you when you need it. She'll be there with food, drinks, advice, prayer, whatever you need, she'll be the one that's there for you because family is everything to them.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:53 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • (poster) Well I just want to have OUR OWN private life. I feel like its all about THEM and when it comes to MY side of the family, well they get tossed aside. Everything is about them, sh*t she already had her daughter picked out for my godmother , and I'm not even pregnant!! It was a nice two day argument with my husband b/c I have a sister too and SHES gonna be the godmother. Its like everything is a battle. Its not so easy to MOVE either b/c we RENT a 3 bedroom house from his mother.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

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