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LEAVING YOUR DISABLED LOVE

i heard a touchy subject on the radio this morn..a young lady playing round with her gf..just in a pool an sumhow injured her C spine so she permanately paralyzed for life..she was due to get married 2wks later but they called of the wedding cause both her an his income combined would take away her medicade insurance which pays for her meds,therapy,transportation,etc..
my question is would u call off your wedding for the sake of health insuracne?
go head with the wedding anyhow?
leave him/her period?

i would go ahead with the marriage an worry bout the bills together

Answer Question
 
FreeSpriT4eva

Asked by FreeSpriT4eva at 8:26 PM on Nov. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,168 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • We would probably have the marriage ceremony, but not file the paperwork.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 8:29 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • This is hypothetical, but If it happened to the man I was supposed to marry, I would still want to marry him.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 8:29 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Health insurance is huge. I would not hesitate to hold off the wedding if it meant my fiance could still get medical care. I would never leave him - no matter how hurt he was but marriage could certainly wait in this particular instance.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 8:29 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • What is marriage really but a piece of paper? she's paralyzed from her collar bone down, she won't be able to have kids. He's not leaving her, and that's what matters. They will still be together. It's smarter to wait and keep the insurance, rather than getting married just for the sake of getting married and then incurring all kinds of debt that could create an entire lifetime of additional problems.

    I would have just left entirely, which is probably mean and shallow...but I wouldn't be able to deal with it. I can't express how thankful I am that my child is whole and healthy, I've always known that I would never be emotionally able to deal with having to take care of someone with a disability.
    FluffyMamaBunny

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 8:29 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • When looking at medical bills as high as these will be? Yes, I completely understand why they called off the wedding in order to preserve insurance. It's easy to say that one wouldn't do that when not faced with that situation, but to go ahead with the wedding under those circumstances would be setting oneself up to not be able to get treatment as needed, medications as prescribed, and possibly not have food to eat or a home to live in. While not able to marry legally at this time due to financial considerations, they could still remain committed to one another.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 8:30 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I would hold off the marriage so my SO could get the proper and needed medical care. Getting married doesn't guarantee coverage. Most insurance companies would consider the disabilities a pre existing condition. I would NOT leave my SO becasue of a disability unless he bacame abusive.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:32 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • tho i have been in the situation bfore..i would have still married him he was disabled bfore i met him..only reason it didnt happen was bcause he was shot an killed bofore i could actually marry him..i wouldnt have changed my mind..
    FreeSpriT4eva

    Comment by FreeSpriT4eva (original poster) at 8:35 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • It is a very practical thing to do and I would also consider it. I know a couple who won't marry because she has cancer and is responsible for her bills w/o him but they love each other.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 8:35 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • most of the callers said they would leave just cause the person was disabled an felt it would be to much responsbility for them to handle..
    FreeSpriT4eva

    Comment by FreeSpriT4eva (original poster) at 8:37 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I would postpone the wedding to get medical bills situation. My husband and I got married when we were both in debt and it just caused more problems financially. If we would've both paid off our debt and then got married we could've bought a house sooner. I think it's important in any situation to be financially stable before you marry someone, especially when moving in together. The situation you speak of wouldn't be any different.

    Her disability may be a greater strain on the relationship and her, but I wouldn't leave just because of that. There would have to be reasons pertaining to us as a couple, not her as a disabled person.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 8:54 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

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