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3 Bumps

My step mom won't share holidays

So I'm 30 this year and a new mom(single mom), my son is 14 months. Before I became a mom I would go to my parents(dad and stepmom) for all holidays and we also had to be there for everyones birthdays too. And by "had to be there" I actually mean that, if I ever said I wasn't going to be able to make it, I was guilted until I went. Well, I want to start my own traditions and would like to host events...or even just have my parents come to my house for a Christmas visit. I brought that up today and was told that that will never happen. They plan on having "Christmas" a different day so everyone(me, my son, my siblings and their families) can go to their house. But they will not come here. I'm told no one is comfortable here. That hurts my feelings and I'm pretty offended by it. I kinda feel like being childish and not going to their house either, but I don't want to keep my son from enjoying the day, after all, I am a single mom. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do. How would you feel about this? What would you do?

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Iluvmyseptboy

Asked by Iluvmyseptboy at 9:34 PM on Nov. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • (((((HUGS))))) i would start your own traditions and do what makes it happy for you and your son.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:48 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I would do exactly what you said. Start your own traditions,invite friends over for a potluck/gift exchange so much fun! It isn't fair that you should take your son out on Christmas when you know he'd probably be real happy staying home playing with his toys from Santa :) This is what I did. At first my family was very unhappy with me, but they eventually came around, however we did spend Easter with my family. Good luck and Happy Holidays!
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 9:50 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Do it anyways...it is your home and your Holidays so enjoy them as you wish...We are having Thanksgiving Dinner in our new home and invited all of our families but only DH's parents are going ot be there...so we decided to find out who in our group of friends doesn't have family whom they can see and invited them. They were very happy to get the invite and are going to join us in our home.
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 10:12 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • i would deff go with my heart i would do my own traditions they should understand and if not thats to bad for them..if u want u can always split the holiday u can spend the morning with ur fam and come home and spend the rest of the night with ur baby..nxt year will be my first family holiday tradition..so im excited for that when u have kids u wanna celebrate with ur own little fam and start ur own and i understand that..i would go for it and invite friends and family and if that dnt go for this year u can always let ppl know ahead of time for nxt year which im doing now..good luck hun and i hope they cone around and as long as u and baby are happy thats all that matters i know its family but right now its all about u and baby...
    ProudMami1990

    Answer by ProudMami1990 at 10:21 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I don't have any friends...sad i know...but all pity aside, I only had the family to invite. And since I'm a single mom with no friends, I don't have anyone else to invite and i don't want my son to be lonely....
    Iluvmyseptboy

    Comment by Iluvmyseptboy (original poster) at 10:22 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • and i would feel hurt that they dnt want to come around my house for christmas just cuz they feel uncomfortable and who says that to family u know regardless if they didnt mean what they said just the thought that im a single mom and have kids i wouldnt want to travel and would like for ppl to come visit me and spend holidays at my house..its also good to start tradiion gives ur baby something good to look forward to during the holidays..
    ProudMami1990

    Answer by ProudMami1990 at 10:26 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Start your own traditions. Maybe you could take your son somewhere special every year: we watch the Christmas parade every year and come home to homemade hot cocoa and apple cider in the crock pot, visit a special lights display and adopt an angel tree child for the girls to purchase gifts for. Find what works for your family (you and your son) and don't let your stepmom push you around. Good luck!
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:35 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

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