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How to cope with leaving childs father while pregnant???

I am about 10 weeks pregnant. I have a 5 year old son already. I have been married a year and my husband has been in jail and rehab for over half of the marrage. I filed for divorce. Attempted to date someone else. We decided to try to work the marrage out. He is still in his rehab and decided he wanted to think he was not the father of the baby im caring. He is very mentally abusive. Calls me a whore, says he deserves better. Everything you could ever imagine. I love my husband with all my heart and all i ever wanted was him. He has caused so much hurt to me and my son. But i have stood by his side and tried to work it out. The last few days i have not taken his calls. Last time we spoke he threatened me with a divorce and told me he would find someone better than me. But he loved me and it was all my fault. I just feel super scared. Desperate. I dont know how to make it through this pregnancy alone. It breaks my heart. I have not been working. My depression is too bad. I am having a hard time eating, getting motivated to do anything. I dont want to leave him. But i dont know what else to do. It is killing me. I feel like i will never be comfortable with another man again. I just sit and cry. I would just like to find other women who have been through similar situations. I really need support.

Answer Question

Asked by laceyrene at 11:27 PM on Nov. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I'm sorry but this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. I don't think it's love when you are being abused and treated like that. It sounds more like codependency and obsession instead of love. It might be best to use birth control after this child. Said with respect.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Thank you and i understand your point. I married a different man. I can shut that off because of what has happened.I do love my husband. But love is not enough for me to lose myself and my mind. Im just dealing with getting through it. I do agree on a bit of the codependency issue. I was told that i was not going to be able to have children when i was 16. I tried for quite some time. Years. I feel blessed to be pregnant. I agree with the birth control topic. I will not be ready to have any more kids after this. 2 is enough.

    Comment by laceyrene (original poster) at 11:39 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I think you need to get yourself into therapy as fast as possible. This relationship is not healthy for you, your son or the baby you are carrying. If you had a friend who was in this situation, you would tell her to leave. This man will only cause you more pain and you and your children need more and deserve better. Message me anytime you want to talk, I will listen, but I would not encourage you to stay in this marriage.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 11:41 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I know what you are going through. You can send me a message anytime. Stay strong, you and your children deserve better.

    Answer by sweet29mom at 11:41 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • hey hun i know how u feel i didnt leave my sons father when i was pregnant though..i was with him for 2 years and had a bby boy when we were 6 months into the relationship i basicially lefted him cuz he was never or was or tried to be apart of my sons life and found out all those time he wasnt home he was out with someother girl..i was scared to leave him cuz his mom and him threatened to take my son away frm me and was going to tell ppl i abuse and neglected my son and that i was too mental to care for him..but i lefted him and here iam in ga for the sake of u ur son and new bby i would leave what can he do for u government benifets dnt hurt u dnt want ur kids to live in an abusive home and let them be unhappy and not know and find out why when they rebell against u.. i wish u the best of luck if u ever need anyone to talk to ill be safe and take care had to cut short no more

    Answer by ProudMami1990 at 11:41 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • Thank you all. I am in theropy. I attend a Domestic Violence group. I am attempting to take the right steps. I will not deny that its not a healthy relationship. But its all still hard.

    Comment by laceyrene (original poster) at 11:46 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • My husband had stuggled with drugs, but has been clean and sober for 5 years now. I had a 2 year old and was pregnant when things got really bad, if they would have stayed bad, I would have had to move on, but after his rehab he really turned things around and is a better person. You can message me if you need to talk. I will probably understand.

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 9:12 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

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