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2 Bumps

So jealous it makes me cry

I was married to and have 2 kids with a man who is still making me miserable !

We were married for 4 years and for the last 2 I was miserable because he cheated on me and got to a point where he thought that it was ok...

I left him and thought everything was OK, and was starting to feel better, I even didnt care that he was dating people ( as long as they were decent for when he would have the kids 2 days a week) ... I even now have a somewhat friendship with his "fiance" ...... It honestly doesnt bother me that they are together because I do not want him back... but I think it is more that he was so horrible to me and it feels like he is being rewarded with his new woman.

I have been around them alot and I see how she treats him and how he treats her and I have talked to both them alot ( not about this ) but I can tell that it is not for show and this is truely how they are...

She literally looks like Kim Kardashian, she is a great cook ( I have ate her food and literally had a dream about the food that night ), she is wonderful to my kids (and I am thankful for that ), he is living with her in her home that she bought ( he has messed my credit up so bad it will take me years to beable to buy a home), and of course it is beautifully decorated.... She takes good care of him ( she is one of those women who "pamper" their men ) ...... but the thing that hurts the most is that he has respect for her, he is so different with her than he was with me... he is a completely different man and I know it is because of her and that makes me sooo jealous. He goes to church with her ( and was baptized a few weeks ago ) , he has family nights with her, he doesnt drink or party anymore, he is all about family and home life and he is happy with his life, and you can just tell that he is really changed !... It hurts badly that he hurt me so bad and that I am still dealing with what he did with me ( hard to trust men, plus the credit problem I mentioned, not to mention the fact that my kids love it at their house and never want to come back here after his days are up) ...and now he is the man i always wished he would be, and they have such a nice life together....

How can I pull myself through this ??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on Nov. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Remind yourself that even though it appears he's changed, one day he could decide he's still not happy and put her through everything he put you through. Afterall, you were once happy with him too, right? Or else you would not have married him...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • well he could just really be happy, or he could be doing whatever she asks of him so that he can have a sugar mamma. would you feel differently if the roles were reversed and it was you being that happy and him not?

    Answer by momslikeme366 at 11:51 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • well they have been together for over a year now and not a problem in sight ....

    He was never like this with me... he was never respectful but I was 17 and we got pregnant and had a "shotgun" wedding....

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:52 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I wish i was that happy ! ... I know it sounds selfish but I just felt like he would be miserable and that I would find a decent person would love me and treat me right.... I always worked so hard on our relationship and he didnt put anything in it besides hurting me ( but he was always a good father) ...

    She quit her job like 6-8 months ago... he supports her so I dont think it is a sugar momma thing

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:55 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • I doubt you know 100% of what goes on in their relationship. The grass is hardly ever greener on the other side..

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Nov. 23, 2010

  • You can be that happy when you find the right guy. Cut him loose (emotionally) and find your prince

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:01 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • You sound like a wonderful person, and a very fair person. I wouldn't call what you're feeling real jealousy, you just want those good things for yourself. Focus on your kids, and making your life what you want it to be, and along the way, you'll meet a wonderful man who will be the right man for you.

    I wasn't quite as young as you, but I got married at 19, had my oldest son at 21, and divorced by 23.......I've now been married to the RIGHT man for 22 years....happily married, and I met him when I wasn't even interested in a relationship anymore.

    Take a deep breath, enjoy the good things about being single while you are....then you'll be ready for the good things about a good marriage when it comes along, and I believe it will, it sounds like you're someone who deserves it.

    *hugs* and wishing you a wonderful guy to share your life with.

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:06 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • i know how u feel when i was with my first baby dad he was everythingi wanted then after i had the bby he switched on me he was never home took all my money met another women now he's been with her for 2 years now i no longer live in mass im in ga now but now they are talking about kids he does things with her so and so he barely sends money to help with my son but he spends all his money on her and now planning a family wtf..but im good now i found a real good man and my relationship is good and my son calls him dad i been with him for almost 2 years which now the role is changing he's always begging to help so and so u will find that person i know u will..i had to get over the hurt feeling because whatever hurt or hatred feeling i had i dint want to mess up the good relationship i had now..go out and explore and when that man comes ur way and he makes u happy and beautiful u know to hold on to him at least ull be appreciated

    Answer by ProudMami1990 at 12:14 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • the grass is not always greener and beauty fades...dont put yourself down..move is too short to be wishes

    Answer by janomoma at 12:22 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • You need to remind yourself that the reason that you are no longer together is because he treated you so bad. You didn't need that. I have a feeling if they ever get married, his true colors will eventually come out. It may look good on the surface, but give them a while, what goes around comes around.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:32 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

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