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3 Bumps

Please don't judge, I need help..

So I am a sigle mother and my daughter is 9. Her school is just down the street so she walk there and back by herself. She gets home at 4pm and I work until 7pm so she stays home alone for 3 hours. That has been going on since last year.

This past week her behaviour has changed a lot. She was an easy child and now she has become very difficult. I found out just last week that she has been going out after school- someone saw her twice at the park. I spanked her and grounded her, took away stuff but she did it again today. I started yelling again and she yelled back! She has never done that before.

what do you think changed her?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Nov. 24, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (32)
  • I know how hard it is to have kids and work too. I had to quit working simply because i couldn't afford child care, but mine were under 5 years old. I would trust my 8 yr olds home alone for a few hours, just not every day. You need to explain to her, without yelling, just how dangerous it is for a girl her age to be running around alone. Maybe you could possibly work something out with friends of hers so that she isn't home alone all the time. I'm sure there are children at the park that she plays with, maybe they wouldn't mind having a playdate after school. I think its great that your daughter is that independent, like mine, to be able to take care of herself and I'm sure she knows what to do in an emergency. Any parent who can teach a child that kind of independence teaches that too. Good Luck

    Answer by sweet29mom at 1:28 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Don't leave a 9-yr-old alone, for starters. But since you do have a problem try talking to her instead of just yelling, just a though!

    Answer by lovemytwinsters at 12:37 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • honestly, if she is old enough to be watching herself isn't she too old for a spanking? ....scratching my head.....?

    Answer by Sarahsdawn at 12:42 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I don't need a sitter because she started being home alone when she was almost 8 and she's been doing great. She cooks for herself, she can bathe herself, her homework is always done by the time I get home so hiring a babysitter would mean hiring a person to sit on my couch and do nothing because my kid can do everything! "

    Yea, but she's not acting as she did when she was almost 8. Her behavior has changed. You'd be hiring a babysitter to make sure she's at home and safe. Sounds worth it to me, and it shouldn't be too expensive at just a few hours a day. As kids get older, they start rebelling and sometimes getting into trouble. I'd make sure she's supervised, since she's obviously not following your instructions lately.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 12:43 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • so shes in like 3rd or 4th grade. i find that appauling that youd leave her alone, hire a babysitter!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I'm sorry, I've been a single mom, and I know how hard it is, but 9 is just too young to be alone for that long....and it's illegal in most states. I'm sure the issue is money, but you need to find a program, or a friend who can keep an eye on her. If you think your having trouble now, wait until she's a few years older, she'll be sneaking to do worse things than go to the park.

    No judgment, I understand your predicament, but you need to find another way. Good Luck.

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:36 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I believe she just wants more of your attention. You arent there to see her off to school or when she gets home. Just sit down and talk with her and ask her what is going on

    Answer by mzQ at 12:42 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • she wants more of you, she needs more of you!!!! More attention, more parenting. 9 (IMO) is too young to come home to an empty house every day, yes she may have liked it at first but the novelty will always wear off. Now it sounds(from the way you describe the situation) that she is screaming for attention in her own way!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 12:44 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • You are going to have to make arrangements before someone gets wind and they call CPS or whatever it is called in your area on you. Like I said, I am not judging you because you have to do what you have to do, but she can get seriously hurt in those few hours while you are gone. All it will take is some perv knowing she is home alone every day to hurt her.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 12:50 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I don't know, but I'd hire a babysitter. It definitely sounds like she needs supervision.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 12:35 AM on Nov. 24, 2010