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2 Bumps

Being around someone who's way too serious

Going to be around a woman who is way too serious. Part of it is from working at a prison for 25 yrs. She's very stand offish. She has told others she likes my husband and me, but when we come in the room, she doesn't say hi or ask how we're doing? Yes, we have. I also find it difficult to have a conversation with her.

My question: What can I do to break the ice. We'll be spending a lot of time with her over the holiday. Would appreciate any suggestions. Thank you. Plz be nice. And no I can't tell her off or ignore her. LOL Not that I would. Its not my style. I want to work it out. I choose to try to find a way to make things better....Tk you for your ideas!

Answer Question
 
Prayerpartner

Asked by Prayerpartner at 6:48 AM on Nov. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (10,072 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Maybe you can have a private moment of honesty with her? Explain that you get a little nervous around her and are sometimes not really sure what to talk about with her....sometimes people are not aware how they "come off" to other people. I know that I would appreciate that.
    DMac08

    Answer by DMac08 at 6:59 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • The best thing to do IMO is to ask her questions to get the conversation going. Then build off her answers. Have a bunch ready in your head and try to think of questions she can not just answer yes or no to. But build off her answer the best you can. Make it about her until she starts to open up. I was a very shy young adult and the people who made me the most comfortable were the people who took a genuine interest in me and what I was doing. I felt "safe" with them and could open up. You are so kind to be willing to work with this situation. Best wishes.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:33 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Weather permitting have some outdoor games like horsehoes. I understand if this gathering isn't at your house and you can't do that. I agree with pp, ask her if she is nervous and why. You could say, _____, you seem nervous, is there something I can do for you or get you. I have become standoffish over the last few years. I am afraid of being treated badly. I have been treated very poorly in the past at work and it has left me guarded. GL
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 7:34 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I with the other women...Just ask some questions to find out what you are both interested in. That is always a great way to break the ice. When I dont know someone well I am very stand offish....But as soon as I find out there is something we both like...then good luck geting me to shut up lol. Hope things go well =)
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 7:41 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Well just be yourself like you are on Cafemom. YOU are such a nice person and are always saying such nice things. I would not change a thing. This person is who she is and maybe that is just her. Like you said you say hi and just start talking, she will come around. Have a Happy Holiday to you and to all!!!
    sta517

    Answer by sta517 at 7:45 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

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