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Sticking my nose where it doesn't belong?

As a mother myself, I know that I can't stand when someone tries to step in and tell me that I am doing something wrong or that I should do something different..so this makes my little situation a tough one..

My friend is starting to concern me with what and how much she is feeding her 4 month old baby. This baby already has juice, is on every kind of baby food out there (even the ones with meat), and she even lets him chew on bread sticks and pizza crust when they order out (which is quite often). At birth he was 6lbs 4oz, and now at 4 months old he is 21lbs! She sends me pictures daily of him and although I think chunky babies are ADORABLE, hers looks as if he cant breath through his fat rolls. I would like to tell her that I am a little concerned and that maybe she should slow down on this. What is the rush on getting your baby on all of this stuff so soon? But i'm afraid she would get offended and it would affect our friendship. I know this is the doctor's job as well to step in and say something but I am not all that sure that her doctor KNOWS everything this baby is consuming. WIC told her he was definitely off the charts with his weight and gave her a few tips on it. I'm just concerned for him. Her and her boyfriend are both are large people (He's obese and she is borderline).. so he's definitely got the genes to turn out the same way. What would you do?

 
Ctink8189

Asked by Ctink8189 at 9:58 AM on Nov. 24, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 21 (11,991 Credits)
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Answers (11)
  • I would be highly concerned as well for the health of her baby, however, even if you say something in the sweetest most caring manner, chances are she's not going to suddenly have a lightbulb moment and change what she's doing. I think the best thing is to show just through your own example of how you live, and hope that she admires you and what you stand for, and follows suit. Good luck. This is a tough one.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 10:28 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Genetics has VERY LITTLE to do with obesity. Lifestyle is the determining factor. sounds like they are setting him up to die young, and aren't people I could associate with.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 10:00 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Definitely a tough one - maybe you could hint at it, like when she is giving him pizza crusts, be like "wow - he eats taht already! My kids didn't eat anything like that until they were __" . Childhood obesity is definitely a major problem in thsi country, so I understand your concern.
    tarakenyon06

    Answer by tarakenyon06 at 10:02 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Keep your nose out of her parenting choices unless she asks you for input.
    ballewal

    Answer by ballewal at 9:59 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • very touchy subject. Your friend is "loving" her baby by feeding him. She probably feels love thru food and she is passing that on. What better way to show someone you love them than by giving them delicious food. You saying soemthing isnt going to change the situation because she needs retrained in her thinking and her own lifestyle. To her it is second nature and a very hard thing to change. You saying something will make her feel guilty which will make them eat more. It is an addiction. If she comes to your for advice then be honest and help her. Show her where resources are, talk to her about what is going on emotionally and give her other options but dont do this unless she is ready and mentions it to you.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 10:08 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I dont think you are being nosey I think you are being a concerned friend.... but on that same note I think she would be upset or embarrassed if you said anything.... Hopefully her DR. sets her straight......
    2lilbumblebees

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 10:14 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Technically, it isn't abuse in the law sense of it. So, not much you can do. When either the doctor says something or her kid is having all sorts of health issues, maybe she will worry then. But, really, even if you brought out all the facts and medical studies, she won't care. Any amount of reading would already have tipped her off to what she is doing wrong, so, obviously...she couldn't care less. Let it go and it will come to a head later.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:03 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • That is a hard question. I guess I would say something for the sake of the baby. You could mention to her that doctors reccommend that babies eat only formula/breastmilk until AT LEAST 6months of age. Try to start a conversation that way. Most baby foods have stages listed on the packaging. You could start a conversation that way. Can her baby sit up yet or crawl? If the baby cannot sit up yet, he should not be having 2nd stage foods. He DEF should NOT be having meats yet. Ultimately though, you cannot change her. It is all parenting perspective. Some mother's just unknowingly choose to set their babies up for a harder life.
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 10:11 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I'm with lovingedward, next time you see the baby eating pizza crust, say "Are you not scared he may choke on that? He can' t chew it very well!
    cricut-craz

    Answer by cricut-craz at 10:32 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Honestly..she sounds like she is setting the kid up for unhealthy eating habits, and at such a young age? Yikes. Whether or she is doing it intentionally, she should know that. She probably won't listen, unfortunately for the baby..but at least you could try. Normally I wouldn't stick my nose in other people's business, but you're talking about a baby's health and well-being here! I'm sure her doctor has told her the same thing but she probably ignores it..it's most likely totally pointless to say anything to her, and she might flip out..but at least you tried. You know?
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 10:55 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

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