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3 Bumps

should this bother me? adult content

I have been with my fiance' for 2 1/2 years now. We are great together but one of our only problems is that he watches porn. Not all the time or anything, but like 4 or 5 times a week. I tell him that it bothers me and everytime he promise he won't anymore (it's been like 4 times of me telling him). For a while after he won't (I check his history (and I even have a way of checking what he has deleted off his history) but then after a week or two, he starts back up. We have a great sex life, we have sex prob 7-10 times a week. I don't know why I'm not enough for him. Fyi I am 22 years old and I get hit, flirted with or checked out pretty much everyday ( I say that so ya'll know I'm not some troll, though I will admit, you will prob never see me in a Victoria Secret Catalog lol). Is it just normal for him to be doing this? I guess it would hurt less if I knew they all did it. Am I just being overly sensitive? Maybe part of what bothers me about it is that none of those girls are anything like me they are all either asian or big boobs. I am white with 32 As. This kinda makes me paranoid that maybe he'll start cheating, I look for it all the time. Please no bashing.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Nov. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Just because he is looking doesn't mean he will cheat. Honestly, I don't care if my hubby looks at porn because I trust him not to know the difference between porn and cheating.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:50 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Its natural for a man to check out porn. Mine does it, just not 4-5 times a week. You guys can get all in the sheets as much as you like but, he is still going to check things out online. I would worry if he was doing it and you guys did NOT have sex but once a month...
    I would not let it make you self concious. I doubt he changes. Sorry girl.
    CandyHorse

    Answer by CandyHorse at 10:52 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I believe that porn addiction can lead to cheating. I'll never fully understand why men prefer to look at porn over the real thing. My DH is not a big porn fan, he is a nerd & would rather read or play guitar..lol. He has a lower sex than your DH, that could alse be a reason my DH does not look at it. WOW, if i got 7-10 times a week...i would be the happiest camper!

    I hear that sometimes men (they are so freaken selfish) don't want to put forth the effort of turning on their ladies & sometimes just want to relax with no pressure from anyone and....beat off. This is what i have read somewhere.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:53 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • You are not being overly sensitive. A lot of women do have a big problem with it. My husband watches porn every chance he gets and it's been that way since we got together. I don't care at all. He also has a love for asian woman and I'm nowhere close to that. He even lived in Japan and had a beautiful Japanese girlfriend...I just keep him away from Japan! I'm okay with him having fantasies and I'm also okay with him taking care of himself! We have two kids I'm busy. But also when we first got together we had sex all the time and he would still watch porn while I was at work. Watching porn doesn't mean he'll cheat or that he thinks less of you. He's just very sexually active. But again, you are not being overly sensitive. If you have a problem with it...then you have a problem with it...I'm just trying to make you feel better with my point of view.
    sunshine58103

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 10:57 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • My hubby had a porn addiction and it drove me nuts. I hate to say it but he has to want ti change. My hubby did and has been clean 13 months. Once they see they might lose you that usually helps and my hubbys did lead to cheating so just be careful I'm here to help ya if you need it
    Heidikans

    Answer by Heidikans at 11:02 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • If it's an addiction he'll never stop without professional help but just bc he looks at porn doesn't mean you are not enough for him. Don't take it personally. But if it's a deal breaker then walk away now. He's not going to stop and if you force him to he'll either hide it or resent you for it. Men always find a way but they won't cheat on you by watching porn. I see no difference in that and these movies with skimpy bikinis and watching the characters practically do each other
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • imo
    4-5 times a week is alot
    especially if he knows you are not liking the idea not all

    NOTHING you do will stop him if he wants to live his life in a fake world
    NOTHING will stop him except him

    you said you can see what he is doing even if deletes-good for you
    keep your eyes open and your excuses ,for any actions that do not fit, closed

    my ex had porn addiction, saw therapist, and therapist said some pretty bad things about him-no sexual boundaries for one example

    does your man have any other signs of sexual addiction or unhealthy ideas? does he try to make you do things that you are not comfortable with? does ha make sexual comments that are not socially acceptable? does he lie about his porn watching, does he take phone cals outside, is the phone bill huge and no reason for, does he work late or weekeends when you know he is not?

    keep eyes open and mouth closed, or he may get better at hiding
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:18 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Honey as long as he's tapping you 7-10 time a week and the only other women he's checking out are on the TV screen not in his truck sucking his dick, then you are absolutely safe.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 11:30 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I don't think his actions are abnormal, maybe you should take into consideration the reason porn is made in the first place - for entertainment. I don't know if everyone does it or even the majority, but I don't see anything wrong with it, however, I do think it is wrong for him to tell you that he is going to stop and not follow through with it. Also, I don't see a reason for you to be fearful that he may cheat with an Asian or a woman with large breasts or any other woman for that matter, or that you are not enough for him (I don't think that is the reason he is watching it at all) you are engaged to be married, he wants to spend his life with you, and you said yourself that you have a great relationship. I would feel bad telling you to just suck it up and let him watch it while you pretend it doesn't bother you, so let me say this instead - keep an open mind, maybe watch something together, you might enjoy it.
    didra

    Answer by didra at 11:49 AM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • honestly it doesn't sound like an addiction. It stays in the relm of normal, because it's not interfearing with his life, he's not engaging in illegal behavior to obtain it, he's not watching it at work or spending thousands of dollars on it. anyways, people have fantasies, most of which they would never act out, even given the opportunity to. I would try to come to terms with it, have enough self confidence that he loves you for you and some skank on the computer isn't going to detract from that.
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 12:05 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

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