Just wonder if you ever get to a point where you realize this is not the life you expected, you are not where you thought you would be and you start to realize there is so much more out there? I realize life throws you curve balls and you are responsible for your own destiny to an extent, but sometimes I think my circumstances have held me back and that I am missing out on so much more.
My husband has never been real supportive and pretty much has been in a position where he does what he wants and I am the responsible one. I am the one that works full time because the bills need to be paid while he works at his leisure as he is self employed because if he works somewhere and gets mad he tells someone off and is outta work, kinda hard to work for someone when you do this.
I am the one that has to make childcare provisions, even if he is not really working, I am still have to find a "sitter" because heaven forbid I inconvenience him. If he has plans to go fishing and my sitter bails, it is my issue even if I have to work. I don't take time for me because I have no money left and I cannot afford to pay a sitter just to have me time.
I work full time, take classes full time online, and we have 3 children (8,6, and 4). I feel often like I am doing it alone so I may as well do it alone. Even in going back to school I get no support from hubby, he seems irritated that I do it cuz I can't be at his beck and call.
I have met people and talked to people over the years and I know that there are nicer people out there and often feel as though I have settled and I am tired of settling. I am sure many will say, work it out for the sake of your kids but I really don't think my heart is in it anymore. Am I selfish for feeling this way?
I got a real kick in the butt about a year ago and ever since then I am not the same person I was as hubby said things that really changed how I see him and I lost respect for him. I know there are nicer people out there and I know I am doing what I need to do for my family. Sadly I still feel stuck right now because my money pays all the bills and that leaves me with nothing. He has run me into finacial ruin and I cannot just let things slide and make a run for it with the kids, that just would not be right......I guess I just needed to vent because I am not sure what to do.
Yet thru all of this I don't hate him, I just don't love him the way I think I should or how I use to as I realize he has made my life less than what I know it could be but I am so grateful for my children and what I have learned over the years.
Asked by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Nov. 24, 2010 in Relationships
Answer by Raindew at 12:14 PM on Nov. 24, 2010
Answer by admckenzie at 12:15 PM on Nov. 24, 2010
Answer by Ctink8189 at 12:18 PM on Nov. 24, 2010
Answer by Jademom07 at 12:18 PM on Nov. 24, 2010
Answer by alyssa1 at 12:31 PM on Nov. 24, 2010
Answer by samurai_chica at 12:47 PM on Nov. 24, 2010
Answer by JoLee12345 at 12:53 PM on Nov. 24, 2010
Answer by LindaClement at 12:54 PM on Nov. 24, 2010
I hear you and I do kind of understand I think you need to weigh your options and see if counseling might work. If he is not willing to change find a way to save small amounts to get out. I know it hard when you are paying everything but generic vs name brand on some things will help. Cutting down to base needs cable, phone, energy saving items, and keeping your car tuned up cut down on gas cost and repairs.
I believe in marriage but if you are not in one where you both are working toward a positive goals you need to get out. Really take time to ask yourself these questions.
What does he do for our family? kids? home? and me? If you get negative I say you work towards a happy place for you and your kids.
Answer by karing4elmas at 4:53 PM on Nov. 24, 2010