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How do you deal with people whom you don't like?

Please understand I love my in laws but the ways they speak to me makes things hard . I am trying to be a very quiet person but they still tend to work a nerve. I would single out MIL but most of my husband's family talk to me like I am slow or unable to raise my child right. They constantly want to push their beliefs and ways on me . I am an no nonsense parent if my husband and I have decide that my son is not to have candy . I believe that he should not but his abuelos think he should have the world. How do you handle situation that you know will not change but you need to deal with for temporary times? Things that you wish you could change but at this time have not?

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karing4elmas

Asked by karing4elmas at 12:45 PM on Nov. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (6,210 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I heard you mention "abuelos" that means your talking about latin in-laws therefore my dear I will tell you that you a fighting a losing battle. Abuelos never think we are doing a good job. That what they want comes first and we are idiots. Unfortunately, for as much of a pain in the ass that they are, that's how much they love their children and grandchildren. Again, it's a losing battle...I know first hand from both sides.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 12:49 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Ahhh mommy, i'm going through the same thing with my hispanic in-laws. They are set in their ways but you have to be FIRM!!!! Be repetitive. We're currently living with my in-laws while we're waiting for a house to open up and I've butted heads with my mother in law on things such as bottles (she thinks it's okay for my 17 month old to have them, I don't), wearing shoes on my daughter's all the time, dressing them in cold weather clothes in the middle of the blazing afternoon sun, amongst other things. I just stand my ground and if she gives my daughter a bottle, I will right in front of her get a sippy cup and pour whatever's in the bottle into the sippy cup. If they're giving your child candy, just take the candy away and throw it in the garbage and just keep saying why there's a no candy policy. I do respect her, I respect it's her home, but they're my children!!!
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 1:06 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I'm no expert on hispanic mother-in-laws, but I can tell you that being quiet isn't going to help. If you are quiet they will roll right over you. It is probably a lossing battle and if you don't see them often it might be best to just treat it as a special occassion and toss the rule book out. If you don't let your child have candy because of tooth decay and empty calories - lighten up for the holidays. However if the child can't sleep after all that candy and you are up all night with him. Well sorry NO CANDY. And get in her face and ask her if she is going to stay up all night with him, etc. You are an adult, the two of you are equals(you and your MIL) and this is your child. being quiet means she wins. And if it is okay for her to win from 10 am to 6 pm on Thanksgiving and Christmas, just let it go. But if it is a battle worth fight. Get your husband on your side and tell the rest of them to stuff it!
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 1:18 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Don't sweat the small stuff - relax your control when the kids are around the MIL. Go out of your way to show kindness to your MIL, she will be in your life for a long, long time.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 1:51 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I usually smile and nod. And if they get too nutty I walk out of the room. While smiling and nodding.(with a glass of wine in my hand.)
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 9:52 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

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