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How do you mend relationship with a best friend who won't forgive you for not going to her grandfather's funeral?

I'm not sure. Around the timing of her grandfather's passing I was in a serious predicament that involved my kids. I expected her to understand because we we're friends for five or six years. Then I lived in Cleveland whereas the funeral arrangements was made all the way out in Parma. I understand that she's upset about it but this is the longest that she have held a grudge. This happened in May and it is now November. She always been one to hold a grudge but why would she throw away a friendship like that. I miss her alot and I don't know what else I can do. Any advise?


Asked by kewi86 at 1:20 PM on Nov. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,152 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • There isn't much else you can do girlie. Let her know you miss her and that you wish you could have been there for her when she lost her grandfather. Tell her if she doesn't want to be friends with you anymore then you will stand back and let her be. That's all you can do.

    Answer by mz_erica03 at 4:16 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • some people are just like that. if she holds grudges for that long over something that was out of your control, she would be no friend of mine. im sure with the passing of her grandfather she was not in the right sorts and your not coming may have really hurt her although you had a valid reason. now she's had time to mourn and move on in life and she should put it in the past. if you have offered your apologies then it is out of your hands, let her come to you when and if she's ready. at this point she should owe you an apology for being so cold.

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:24 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • if it was a real friendship, you guys will make it through.

    Answer by Mamma2E at 3:30 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • All you can do is explain and apologize, which it sounds like you've already done. I know you miss her, but if she's going to hold a grudge I don't know that she's such a great friend.

    Answer by Scuba at 1:27 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I'd drop an email or card in the mail and tell her you miss her and would like to reconnect. After that it's up to her.

    Answer by warrenfamily95 at 1:28 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • A friend in need can be easily hurt by this, you should have explained it to her then but apparently she seemed to think your reasons were not valid.

    Answer by older at 1:31 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • How did it go down back then, did you tell her you couldn't make it and why and that you were sorry and do whatever people do when someone loses someone (send a card, flowers, bring a dish?), or did you just not show up?

    Answer by gramsmom at 1:40 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • She needs to let it go. The onus is on her.

    Answer by tasches at 1:49 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • It takes some folks a long time to get over something. It wouldn't hurt to send her a card.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:04 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Its not your fault---she is a pissy ,high- maintenance flake. You need another more mature,less demanding friend.

    Answer by kerp1960 at 12:30 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

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