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4 Bumps

I found out my bf has on account on a dating website, how do I approach him about this?

I knew he had a few of these active before we got serious. He told me he canceled all of them. But when one of my friends tells me they saw his profile still active on site that they're on as well, it surprised me. So given some questionable actions he's made and things he's said I couldn't help but snoop on his computer when he was at work.
I looked in his history and since this past September till this month he's visited this site 115 times!! His log-in name and password is saved so I log him in on this site. He's read all the messages in his inbox but never sent any out. He's browsed the profiles but never sent messages and "meets" or "gifts" or "hellos" on this site.
He constantly brings up our age difference and thinks I'll leave him for someone my age. (I'm 13 years younger than he is) I don't understand why he would have this account but never engage in conversation with other women. Is it the attention he likes? And let me add the fact that this man gets more attention from me than a baby to new parents! Is it the idea of being wanted? Does this seem like he has intentions to cheat?
I'm a person who wants to talk things through. I'm not one to shout and get emotional. I'd rather talk calmly. But he's the type to shut down and leave in a conflict. So how do I go about this....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Nov. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • You want to date Big Boy - then go at it. I am outa here.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 1:52 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Its good that he hasn't talked to any girls.. unless he deleted the sent messages..

    But I would just be straight forward with him.. Just say a friend saw his profile so you checked..
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:53 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I would just go right at it....don't beat around the bush. And let him know that it is BS!
    JakesCupcake

    Answer by JakesCupcake at 1:56 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Tell him how how you feel about this. If that is not good enough. Maybe you need to find a new BF. That you can trust.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:01 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I would be like "asta."
    CandyHorse

    Answer by CandyHorse at 2:16 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I would definitely talk to him about it. He could have deleted the messages. He's been on there 115 times!!!!! There is no way he is not talking to other women!!!! I would find out what the heck he is up to!!! He is playing u for a fool!!!! U need to find out where u stand!!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 2:20 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I'm guessing he wants to talk to mature women his own age that don't feel so insecure that they have to snoop on his site. Most older men just like younger women for the sex anyway.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I'm sorry. You should confront him and tell him if he doesn't stop, you're gone. You shouldn't have to put up with that! Never mind the rude responses.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 3:25 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • wow thanks for the advice little miss "anonymous". Now if you could take a q-tip and clean out that snotty 8!tc4 attitude from your head you might possibly see the difference between us... im very confident about my self. Being a mother and a supportive loving gf is the best thing the lord has ever given me. You, on the other hand "im guessing" your 'confidence is backed with how you get your way and what you want most likely using your V . Therefore, my confidence is built with my heart and yours is built with you on your back and topped with your toes in the air..... and if you try saying anything about how you get laid more than I, you have one thing right on your comment. "older men just like younger women for the sex anyway" .... you should know i get PLENTY of it ;-) ....... all you other mom's , thank you for your POSITIVE advise. I will confront him about this and give him an ultimatum.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:40 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • i would not go for ultimatum just sit and talk and really listen to what he has to say it might not mean anything ,some times men need talk to some one other then their wife or gf , and i know you can work this out yes he is 13yrs older but age is just number nothing more it's love that you have for each other that hold you togther as one ,let me know how it went and good luck
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 12:22 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

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