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Do you get jealous of other women who weren't trying to conceive, but do anyway?

I have a little boy who's 2 now, but I want more kids. I was told when I was younger that it would be hard for me to conceive AND carry the first 3 months. But just 2 short years later I found out I was pregnant. But now that my hunnie and I really want to have another baby, it seems as if everyone BUT us is having kids. Each month that my dammed cycle begins I brake down and cry because I pray and hope so much that maybe we finally did it, we're pregnant. So many girls I work with are pregnant. And two of my family members are expecting plus two others that just had their babys just a few months ago. I get excited for all of them when I hear news like this but I also become sad and angry. What is it about this little miracle with ten little toes and ten little fingers that barely wrap around our index finger that makes us jealous and angry if we don't have one? . . . . I'm very blessed and more than grateful to have my son and do consider myself very lucky to have my own child andmy heart goes out to those moms who can't, but is it still selfish of me to want more and to feel somewhat 'left out' if I can't have another baby?
Please share conceiving, pregnancy, and birth experiences of your own. I'd love to hear about those kind of things.

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Asked by bryoungker at 2:44 PM on Nov. 24, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Well, I'm one of the women who conceived on the first try, without even trying. However, I can see how you'd feel that way. My mom tried and tried to get pregnant when before she had me, and finally, after months of disappointment, conceived. The baby was stillborn at 9 months. I don't know how she handled it. Maybe that's why she's always been such a great mother. She wanted us so badly. She went on to have me and my brother, though it felt like it was never going to happen. My point is, it can take a while, and get frustrating and disappointing, but that doesn't mean it won't happen for you. You just have to stay hopeful. I'm sure when you least expect it, you'll find out you're pregnant. Best of luck, hon!

    And no, hon, it's not selfish of you to feel that way.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 2:54 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Thank you. I've heard this from my own mom. I hear from other couples that when they stopped trying it happened for them. I think it's the stress of wanting another child so badly that makes it harder on my body.

    Comment by bryoungker (original poster) at 3:50 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • You are not alone at all. When one becomes focussed on getting pregnant, we do notice all those that are and that have had babies. It is just a natural instinct to feel like this and to take notice of what is going on around us. Like you, I have many friends and also people that I know of who are pregnant or have just had babies in the past couple of months and it stinks! I got pregnant for the first time last spring but m/c at just over 3 months so seeing 2 people that I know and see every week go on to have healthy babies was devastating but it is also a fact of life and I know that. We are TTC again and hoping for the best! Good luck to you too!

    Answer by miraclewaits at 8:53 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • I cannot speak from personal experience, but one of my best friends has experienced this and still does every time she hears that someone has gotten pregnant... My heart goes out to you, but be encouraged! If you have had one, then you very well could have another one! I am praying for you. I know the disappointment that comes when you find out that you have not yet taken... but like you said also, sometimes when we give up on trying, that's when it happens... try and stop thinking about it, relax, read a book before bed, and just have fun when having sex... if you want something to do physically while you wait, take folic acid, a prenatal, and your B-Complex vitamins... also, I have heard that taking St. John's Wort will help women's fertility levels. The folic acid is mega important for a woman's system period, but esp. if trying to conceive. The Prenatals will cover all your nutrient bases, although not (cont.)

    Answer by momof2redhedz at 1:35 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • making you more fertile in and of themselves. The B vitamins will boost your energy levels and help to reduce the stress effects on your body. The St. John's Wort will help lift your mood and like I have said... some swear it increases a woman's fertility levels...

    Answer by momof2redhedz at 1:37 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

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