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How do I get my fience to spend more time with my daughter?

I have been with my now fience for over a year, my daughter does see her biological father but doesn't like him. With my fience(Dave) she has been very comfortable with him and he has always been very nice and treats her very good. But I want him to spend a little more quality time with her, I dont think he knows exactly what to do and I am not sure what I should tell him. She loves him and seems to want to spend more time with him. She is three and hasnt ever had that father-daughter relationship, as her dad brings her to his mothers house when he has her. I dont want her to be missing out. I spend lots of time her but I think a bond like that is important.
PLEASE HELP!!

Answer Question
 
heaven531

Asked by heaven531 at 5:59 PM on Nov. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (22 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Since she is 3 he can spend quality "dad/daughter" time with her by reading books to her, telling her stories, playing her favorite toys with her, or playing games (maybe play a game of hide and seek, or candyland), color in colorbooks with her.... Or maybe he could take her to the park, Zoo or a play-place (like McDonalds or Chuck E Cheese) for an hour or so- when schedules allow it.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 6:22 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Are you sure that he wants to spend the time with her?

    If so, why not leave her with him while you do the shopping? That would be a start.

    Many men have to figure it out for themselves and won't step up if you are around. This goes for bio fathers as well. If they feel that you are hovering, they will tend to excuse themselves from the situation rather than worry that you will step in when they try in their own way.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:40 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • From personal experience and from what has happened to a lot of my friends is that these new men we bring in are very sweet and nice to our children from a previous marriage UNTIL we give them a child of their own with us, then it kinds goes down hill. This doesn't happen every singe time but in my experience, it's about 75%.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 6:40 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • ok this is funny, I had to check to make sure that I didn't post this. This is me exactly. Now my fiance' does a lot with my dd. let him do fun things like chuckie cheese
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 7:49 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • it might take longer for him to warm up to her than to u ; remember its not his kid and i have talked to some men about this issue and they said its not a deal breaker to be with a woman who has a kid but for some men it takes some getting used to because that kid belongs to another guy. give him some time. GL
    maya123

    Answer by maya123 at 1:18 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • Thank you for all your advice, they now spend time together, he will help her with writing her name and letters and numbers and they both seem to be getting better. I just talked to him about it and he said he just didnt want to be stepping on my toes with parenting her. But they play togeth also and we did play Candy Land and Uno Moo.
    heaven531

    Comment by heaven531 (original poster) at 8:19 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

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