I am married to and madly in love with a wonderful man ! We are both in our early 50's and about to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary !
We both have children from our first marriages ( he and his wife divorced almost 25 years ago, and my husband passed away 15 years ago ) ... My son and daughter are a big part of our daily life, they visit alot and they both live within walking distant, we even have a swing set in our backyard for our grandkids ( they call him papaw) ...
He has 2 daughters and we both have trouble dealing with them.. coming into our relationship i of course expected a nice relationship, I assumed we would all be a big family or atleast friendly to each other... but now after 5 years I just cannot take it anymore ( and neither can my husband) ...
They are 28 and 30 years old but they both act like mean little 15 year olds. They have always been welcome in our home but have only been here twice, and the whole time they wouldnt talk to anyone besides them selves, they literally and loudy made fun of other people in the room , aka my family ( it was a christmas party) ... They have told em they hate me and that it is my fault they do not have a relationship with their dad - even though he says they have acted this way long before we even met... We constantly have tried things to get them to be close to us - I alwasy invited them to do things with me and him and they would lie and say they would and that they were on their way over - but wouldnt show up ( they would even say they are a block away from the house and we would just wait and wait) ... A few months ago we bought football tickets ( the oldest is our state teams big fan) .. we had it all planned out, they said they would go and then an hour before we left ( when we called to say we were on our way) they asked if I was going ( they already knew I was ! ) and said they are not going because of me....
But the biggest blow was this past weekend we had a pre-thanksgiving thing since they cant make it on the real thanksgiving day - they only stayed 30 mintues and when one of their kids called me " mawmaw" she jerked him back and said " NO, that is not your mawmaw , never call her mamaw !.... it just hurt so badly that she would react that way, even if she didnt want him to call me that she didnt have to act like he just said a cuss word or soemthing....
I honestly have never done anything bad to them, I have never been rude ( even if I wanted to be ) /// my husband said he is ready to cut ties with them because of how they are, and that makes me hurt anymore because I dont think a family should be that way but we are out of options....
Do you think we should try harder or just give up?
Asked by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on Nov. 24, 2010 in Parenting Debate
Answer by Jademom07 at 7:15 PM on Nov. 24, 2010
Answer by elizabr at 7:19 PM on Nov. 24, 2010
Answer by squish at 2:10 AM on Nov. 25, 2010
Well, as far as the name grandchildren call you....they can decide that. However, it should be done tactfully and BEFORE they come to your home. It is your home. So if in your home you have two adult women you treat you badly...don't invite them over to your home. If your husband wants a relationship perhaps he can invite them to dinner, out at a restaurant, once a month - without you. It is not giving in to them. It is a way for a father to be honest with his kids. Basically saying to them this: this woman is part of my life and if you can't be nice in OUR home you can't be in OUR home. We do events as a family so any invitation WE get I expect you to treat her with respect. I'm willing to have lunch or dinner with the two of you occasionally, but my family life/schedule is pretty busy (would love to have you involved...) but this is all I can do right now. Your choice. Then let them decide.
Answer by frogdawg at 9:11 AM on Nov. 25, 2010
Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 10:37 PM on Nov. 25, 2010
Darling, my heart just goes out to you! I'm so sorry that your step kids are putting both you & your husband through a lot of hell. In my opinion, you've done everything that's humanly possible in getting along w/them to only have them reject you; therefore, it's best that you just give up & just donate all of your time & attention to your husband & the grandkids.
Answer by NubianQueen78 at 9:17 AM on Nov. 26, 2010
Answer by GoodyBrook at 10:26 AM on Nov. 26, 2010
Answer by skittles1108 at 10:29 AM on Nov. 26, 2010
Answer by salexander at 12:06 PM on Nov. 26, 2010
Answer by SuperChicken at 1:39 PM on Nov. 26, 2010