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2 Bumps

Anyone have parents that u cant make happy?

Hmm... well, it's mostly my Dad. He is just never happy. To start with, I didn't go to penn state like he wanted and didn't go to college b4 getting married and having kids. We got married when I was 19 and have had 3 kids. One passed away (stillborn) and we are pregnant now. My Husband and I are both in college now for nursing. He works to support us and other than school I stay home... This is not good enough for him. My husband isn't a good enough SIL b/c my Dad hates his family, well other than that he's a great guy! My Dad won't pass down his gun to him and says he will leave it for me when he dies. LOL I don't want it!! He rarely sees his grandkids and barely sees us. We live about 125 miles apart but its 2.5 hours, it's not across the country. Anyways, he's just never happy and I don't know what to do. I hate that it bothers me so much..... What's your story and what did u do?

Answer Question
 
AshJoe05

Asked by AshJoe05 at 8:35 PM on Nov. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,651 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Some people live their lives with a chip on their shoulder for some reason or another, if he has never been happy he has missed out on his life, so let him be an example of what you do not want your life to be.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:40 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I don't really have a story, but maybe some advice. Are you happy? Are you proud of yourself and your husband? If so, then I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe trying talk to your dad. Maybe he doesn't realize how he is making you feel. I think it is amazing that you are going to school for nursing with kids and pregnant and your husband in school as well!!! I would stand firm with him. Tell him that your husband is the person that you choose to spend the rest of your life, and you are happy and don't ask that he is to but that is accepting and kind to you and your husband and children! Good luck!! The reason it bothers you is because he is your dad you love him and are proud of him and want to be loved, accepted and proud of too!!
    NDNichol

    Answer by NDNichol at 8:43 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I have a very long story, but the short of it is--stop trying to make him happy. I stopped trying to make my mom happy and I realized that there is nothing wrong with how Iive my life as long as I am happy.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:45 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Yup im happy!
    AshJoe05

    Comment by AshJoe05 (original poster) at 8:47 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • don't worry about him. he'll come around sooner or later. live for you and your family...include him, but just keep in mind how he is and that you're not going to let it bother you anymore. o and btw, about the gun is hilarious. he will be dead. just because he left it to you instead of hubby doesn't mean a thing. he's leaving it to hubby and he knows it....he is just being stubborn that's all. if he didn't want your hubby to have it of course he would have it sold privately or something that didn't involve your family.
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:53 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • princess... true but i just dont know why he cant just give it to him!!! he has like 50!
    AshJoe05

    Comment by AshJoe05 (original poster) at 8:59 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Why would you want to make someone else happy? They have to make themselves happy. It's your dad's issues. Don't make it your's
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:30 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I felt that I never did measure up with my dad for the longest time, but now I can see that he just wanted to push me to be my best. He also did not approve of my hubby for many years, but we were both young and now he has come to see what a great guy my hubby really is. Now my mother in law just can't be pleased with anything anyone does for her. I am not good enough because I seduced her son into getting me pregnant (because I was raped she called me a wh*re) and I have the audacity to not want to spend all of my time with a bitter, hateful old woman or to expect some privacy in my own home (she can't have a key anymore because she would let herself in and snoop when we were gone).

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:59 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • My parents are both wonderful and supportive people. My DH's mom on the other hand.. NEVER satisfied. I truly feel for him growing up with a mother like that. He's been out of her house since the age of 16. He is in the Army, works hard for us and our children, and we never have had to ask for a single thing. But she always finds SOMETHING to criticize him about. He thinks of my mother more like a mom than his own. Quiet sad. But he is an incredible man and I tell him this constantly
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 10:28 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • my parents and i are VERY different people. we agree on almost nothing. when pushed to say something, they will say they are proud of me...but i know they honestly arent, they're just happy i'm not any "worse" than i am...lol...it's because of the constant criticism, judgement, and disapproval that my mental health issues are almost unmanageable. i'm sure the anxiety and depression would be there regardless, but the pressure and disappointment from them that i feel is HUGE. i've had to learn to let go of some of that stress and live my life for ME and no one else. i've learned to be proud of myself. you cant be responsible for someone else's happiness.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 11:16 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

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