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How to improve the situation?

I feel that I created a very bad situation...Even though I meant good. Long story, but advice will be appreciated. My daughter is a new kid in town and started her 1 grade, her teacher is terribly bad to her, but this sis separate story. I wanted my daughter to have enough friends in class or school, that the teacher won't be able to make her experience too terrible. So group of moms invited me for coffee (all homemakers and I offered to pay). Then one of the moms offered to my daughter piano lessons and I agreed . I paid her in advance for 8 lessons. I bought piano. Yesterday I invited her friend from class and she invited the girl of the mom from whom my daughter takes the piano. The mom from my class did not have passes to museum, the other mom had chipper tickets for which they needed to pay. I had free guest passes, I run and got them to the moms, but they both got rather mad at me.

One other situation for last weekend- I invited the American, richer girl to a play date with my daughter. I spent with two girls 4 hours (I enjoyed it), but that mom does not speak with me either.

I feel that I am doing something wrong, terribly lonely and that people rather recent me for what I am doing. What do I do?

Answer Question
 
ganna04

Asked by ganna04 at 9:15 PM on Nov. 24, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 14 (1,468 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I don't get it either, I would ask them about it. I got a little lost so I can't offer anymore. Keep trying.
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 9:27 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I don't get it really. But I feel that the mom from my class did not want me to pay for her (pride?), the other mom who brought the tickets also got mad (the other mom would be obligated to her?). The third mom- American, her daughter won the best student award probably felt uncomfortable (since I felt envy to her daughter, knowing that mine will never get this award). I don't know what is wrong with me.
    ganna04

    Comment by ganna04 (original poster) at 9:35 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Maybe you should tone it down a bit. Some people feel uncomfortable when someone does so much and is so generous. I know I do sometimes. It makes a lot of people feel bad that they are unable to return the favor. I know you enjoy being able to but you may not want to seem like you are trying to show them up. That may be what the problem is.
    sweet29mom

    Answer by sweet29mom at 9:45 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • Maybe they feel like you are trying to show off. It would only take one Mom to feel that way and express those feelings to the others and they would all start picking apart everything you do, even though you appear to be doing it to be nice. It is so sad that no matter how old we become, some people keep that high school attitude. Maybe it would help if you step back and don't do nice things for ungrateful people. I know how hard it is to first of all have a crappy teacher that is awful to your kid and second of all watch your child go through a new school with new friends that are a bit rough to accept. Good luck to you with these people and to your daughter too!
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 4:13 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • Constantly trying to "one-up" everyone won't win you any friends, and that's what it sounds like you're trying to do.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 9:23 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • I think you just need to be yourself. I am sure that these people feel like you are trying too hard.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 7:20 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • I agree it sounds like you are trying yourself & you should just be yourself.
    MomIWant

    Answer by MomIWant at 10:32 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

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