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Anyone else have a Mother that competes with you?

This is a semi-vent. As long as I can remember my Mom has always treated me more like she was a jealous sister then my Mom. When we had our house fire my Mom was too busy SULKING that I was getting a "new kitchen" to realize the trauma, hardship, and stress we were going through. When I asked them for financial help to cover some fire expenses - she agreed on a loan with interest - and then announced that she gave my brother a gift of 5k. (She has never charged anyone else - aunts, cousins - interest. Just me.) When my husband and I disagree she jumps in protecting him and always makes me feel like I don't deserve him. No matter how small the issue. Meh :( Anyone else have a jealous Mom? How do you deal with it?

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Asked by Serafyna at 2:38 AM on Nov. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I know how you feel. I get my singing talent from my mother, but I'm better than she is. When people would compliment me or tell her "oh wow your daughters got you beat!!" she'd get PISSED and sulk for weeks. Um... shouldn't she be PROUD that I'm better? I hope my kids beat me and my husband at EVERYTHING!!! She competes with my looks too. She's very overweight and would always tell me that I'd end up like her and not get too comfortable with looking good. (she gained weight from drug withdrawls). If I have daughters I hope they're twice as pretty as me. Whenever someone compliments me in ANY way she has to bring up an accomplishment of her's whether it's true or not. I pisses me off. Needless to say, I don't talk to her.

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 2:45 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I have the same problem, and unfortunately she lives with me as well!

    Answer by mamapotter at 2:47 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Not my mother but my close friends mother. I always thought something was so weird. My mom was so different she always thought I was great even when i really wasn.t so i noticed it a lot. After a few years I realized it really isn't jealousy so much as she is probably very narcissitc. Everything has to be about her, for her, and because of her EVERYTHING. So if you have something she feels it takes away from her so she needs to keep you down to get her attention. It is so unhealthy for you to be around at all or to listen to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:50 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • i got a mother in law thats trying to get her son back. I did up our house for his homecoming (when he just got back from afganistan) and she had to go above and beyond...

    i cook him somthing or go out to eat.... its always got to be better then what i do....gets soooo annoying!!!

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 9:02 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Sounds like Mom is a full-blown Narcissist.

    How do I know? I have one of my own. And, like one reader above, I do not talk to her. You need to stay away from people like that, regardless of who they are. If not, they will suck the very life from you. That is their goal.

    Shame on a mother like that.

    Answer by Sadx100000 at 12:35 PM on Nov. 22, 2011

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