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4 Bumps

husband that drinks

my husband drinks every night. and it is always at least a six pack. I am tired of it. all our activitys revolve around if he can drink, we have no sex life and its frustrating to have to drive everywhere or run him to town to get more because he cant drive. but on the plus side, he is not a mean drunk . and he stayes home .. is it my bad that it bothers me. or is should i be trying to stop him, if so how

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mommydown

Asked by mommydown at 11:33 PM on Nov. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (324 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • If it bothers you that is ok, you have the right to feel however you want. You should tell him exactly the way it makes you feel. Drinkers do not know what it does to others.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 11:37 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • you have the right to not like something he does. I you can suggest AA but don't be surprised if he thinks you are crazy. He probably can't see he is doing something wrong.
    Meladori_Magpie

    Answer by Meladori_Magpie at 11:51 PM on Nov. 24, 2010

  • I would stop running errands for him, and I would especially stop picking up any drinks for him. You need to get him to sober up and into a program.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 12:49 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • First of all...you can't stop him. It sounds like he in active alcoholism and the only one that can stop and alcoholic is himself/herself but you can stop enabling him. Stop planning your activities around whether he can drink or not, stop being his driver. Most importantly, find yourself an Alon meeting before you get sucked further into this black hole. Just so you understand that I'm not talking out of my ass, I'm a recovering alcoholic. Come 01/01/11, I'll be sober four years and my family begged me to stop drinking for years before I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It's not that the alcoholic doesn't care who he hurts, it's just that the alcoholic doesn't care about himself and can't see past the bottle he's holding to notice anything else. Help yourself...you can only be a support system for him, if he decides to get help. if your strong for yourself. GOOD LUCK!
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 1:33 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • i had brother-inlaw who would drink one then other then case was gone then beating started and my sister and kids had to run he might be happy drunk now but what about later ,are willing to stand by him then it is time to move on or find help for all of you your kids and you need better ,i can not tell you to leave him or tell you to stay you will have to that on your own but don't think of yourself no more your kids come first ,your hubby has some thing in side that he can not get out he needs to talk to some one and soon
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 3:46 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • Sounds like my hubby exactly, I've been with him for going on 12 yrs. now and he has been like this for 11 of those years I've bitched and compained all along, does no good. He's never mean it just annoys the hell out of me and I hate that my kids see it day after day His excuse is, "it relaxes him". Lame excuse if you ask me! I've just come to the realization he's not gonna quit but I do still harp and complain. Wish I could advise ya but I need some of my own!
    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 5:38 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

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