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2 Bumps

He did it again! And he really doesn't care

I get up early for some Me Time..just me alone.

I keep bumping back the time I get up, sacrificing sleep, so I can have at least 2 hours to myself of quiet personal time. But lately my DH will get up shortly after me and just camp out on the couch where I am. He says its his house too. True, but cmon...its 5AM, how much earlier can I keep getting up?!

Just leave me the frig alone for awhile. Says he's not tired, not feeling well (there's always some reason) and said he'd lie on the couch instead of going back upstairs, so I HAD TO GO to the bedroom and I dont feel relaxed and my coffee has me fully awake now. VERY pissed and I dunno what to do anymore. I've talked to him about it and he just doesn't get it nor does he feel what difference it makes if he's in the room...cuz I want to be ALONE!! omg! Its like thats too much to ask.

Not sure whats left anymore. I can't keep getting up earlier and I really don't wanna fight. Why the hell couldnt he just go back to the bedroom. Why do I always have to be the one the has to sacrifice what I'm doing? Or why am I the bad guy if I raise a fuss?

 
Zoeyis

Asked by Zoeyis at 4:56 AM on Nov. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Well, you guys are always together like you said, maybe to him it doens't feel natural to be apart. I rarely get alone time, and if I'm in the bathroom too long my husband's yelling down the hall "whatcha doing bethany?!?!" LOL Really?!?!?! I know you're irritated now but try to take it as a compliment, he loves ya. Not too much to ask and I get it, but men they just don't understand us. I know easier said than done and I don't know your whole situation but try as hard as you can to take it lightheartedly and roll with it. If he's up this early with no kids awake I would be using that time to get some couple workout time? ;) KWIM?
    marine_wife0520

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 6:57 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • well prob- he wants to spend time with you maybe he like the time with you-- i know you need your time - but thats the only thing i could think of -
    Genesis29

    Answer by Genesis29 at 6:36 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • Maybe he just enjoys some time with you or he's suspicious of your computer time?? I don't know. I get up with my husband at 5 am cuz that's about the time he has to leave for work. I enjoy drinking coffee with him and chit chatting; however, he has no interest in my CM activities and for the most part he just rolls his eyes. I would suggest going into the bathroom, locking the door and pretending your taking the biggest shit of your life. Sorry that's my only advice LMAO
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 8:15 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • No-no-no-no-NO !!!! You are not bad to want some alone time !!! I'd go crazy if I had to have somebody with me ---CONSTANTLY !!! You may think I'm being extreme,---BUT, I'd LAY DOWN THE LAW !!! I'd say : " If you don't stop this it's going to end our marriage !!!!!!!!!... And,---if he's hurt by that TOO BAD !!! HE REALLY NEEDS TO REALIZE THIS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    IndigoRose

    Answer by IndigoRose at 8:56 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • if he is home this early in am
    can you get out of theh ouse this early
    maybe you wanthouse time alone
    but outside thehouse time alone might be even better
    not much open at this time
    maybe a health club workout place
    or if good weather where you live a long walk
    exercise will make you feel evn better
    and he can not follow you because he has to stay with kids
    do you have a garage where you can set up a stop to lift soem weights,
    or say you are doing that and curl up in a chair and read a book
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:18 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • I know exactly what you mean...they just don't get it. I usually get up at the same time my husband does but since I stay home, I don't really have to so sometimes I want to stay in bed till 9ish. My husband doesn't get the concept of "don't make noise"..."don't turn on all the lights"..."try to be quiet and considerate"...none of this filters. Since noise and light, etc. don't bother him when he's trying to sleep, he totally ignores my request for him to refrain from this behavior. At this point, I've just given up!
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 10:52 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • My DH likes alone time. I on the other hand like being around him all the time. This is how we worked it out for his alone time. Sunday morning he get up early and sits in the bathroom. He's usually reading the paper but I know when he's in there it's his time alone. Also one day a week I pick up or twins while he gets off work around 1 pm goes home and has the house to himself for 3 hours til our daughter gets home. It took me a long time to see that he needed this. I took offense to it. But now I know its just what he needs.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:08 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • I too, like my quiet, alone time in the mornings. My dh works shift-work so he's up a lot when I get up. Even though I'd rather be by myself to have quiet, ME time, I respect the fact that this is his home too and it would be unkind to say something rude to hurt his feelings. He likes being around me and for that, I am thankful. It could be a lot worse and he could, not want to be around me and I sure wouldn't like that! I just cherish my quiet time when I get it!
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 11:27 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • and now like a little puppy, he's followed me upstairs and is in bed, so back down I go again. Wanna really hit something right now.
    Zoeyis

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 5:06 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • I really feel for you!! I had this problem with my ex/bf and it was really more trouble than it was worth. It really sounds to my like you are not even wanting to be in the same house as him much less WITH him anymore....maybe I am wrong - but you have to have YOU time. If he won't give it to you then MAKE it happen! Go stay at a hotel for a few days and see how different it would be without him. I think then you will find your answer! I did!

    Best thing I ever did!
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 6:16 AM on Nov. 25, 2010