Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Trying to get adult daughter to move out.

We are trying to encourage our daughter to move out on her own. We want to engage more into our "adult lifestyle" more and do it at home rather than at others homes and hotels. Any advice to push her along???

Answer Question

Asked by Want2knowandtry at 5:37 AM on Nov. 25, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I would set a time limit that you want her to have an apartment. Give her a date and help her look for apartments in her price range.  Be upbeat about it and just explain that you are excited for her to move on to the next phase of her life and living at home isn't teaching her anything about the world.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:43 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • Financially, can she do it?

    Right now in the economy it's hard to get anywhere. She won't have references, she won't have much of a credit crunch, and frankly, it's scary!
    The best thing you can do is ensure that she know she can do it. Talk to her about finances, insurance, budgeting, contracts. Help her look for apartments in her area's, and offer to help out financially if you can and if she needs to.

    Talking is the biggest thing, she may want to, but feel unable to cope on her own.

    Let her know that she's always welcome back if it goes wrong, or if she can't cope. I'm sure she'd rather live on her own, it's just incredibly daunting the first time you move out.

    Answer by Piskie at 6:23 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • make her life there slightly unpleasant so that she wants to move out and live by her own rules.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 6:27 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • What is the hurry! everything comes and goes....

    Answer by older at 7:02 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • And,---if she DOESN'T MOVE OUT & she is an adult with a job... Then,---she should be sharing household expenses !!!

    Answer by IndigoRose at 8:27 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • I think you need to talk with her. If she is going to live with you then you need to set up the rules like when she was little. If you want to have adult time tell her she needs to find somewhere to go for the night. If she has a job and can afford it talk to her about why she doesn't want to move. Either she is afraid or she has it really easy at your house.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:54 AM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • How old is she? Is she employed? Can she support herself? I would just start a friendly conversation with her and tell her that you think it's time she thought about moving out and becoming a mature adult. Reassure her you love her and that you will always be there for her for emotional support. Help her find an apartment by going through the newspaper ads together. Set a reasonable time frame that this can work for her. Good luck!

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 10:19 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • Be realistic in your decision to force her out. Clearly I understand your needs, but financially the cost of living is outrageous.

    Answer by Godswk at 11:28 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • If she were ready to be on her own she would move out on her own. It is very difficult to make it financially for young people, for everyone!  You should not push your child out for your "adult lifestyle". I'm 54 and I was 18 in 1974. My parents were middle class and were swingers and had sex parties with drugs. I was the oldest and was forced out when I was 18 and my sister was forced out at 16 for their "adult lifestyle". My sister has had a horrible life because of their "adult lifestyle". My father died in his 50's because of their "adult lifestyle". My mother no longer thinks the "adult lifestyle" was worth the price she paid.


    Answer by Gailll at 10:32 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Just went through this w/my 27yr. old. We set him down & just told him he was old enough to be on his own. He needed to be an adult & enjoy having his own place. We told him we would help him w/a depoist, lights, what ever. He didn't need our help. He moved out a mon. ago. We miss him, but we love it also.

    Answer by glamlady at 10:33 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.