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Why do women have a problem with their husbands being friends with other women? If the other woman is overweight and not attractive, then it seems to be fine for them. But if she is what others would consider attractive and thin, then it's NO WAY JOSE!

Marriage, women and men being friends, trust, insecurities

 
xtina34

Asked by xtina34 at 2:59 PM on Jul. 5, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (25)
  • I am not jealous of my husband being friends with another woman - skinny or fat. I am however, jealous of him being friends with his hot male friend, Dirk. They like to spend a lot of time in the hot tub (without me) and they often go to the sauna naked. Am I overreacting?
    jspy72

    Answer by jspy72 at 3:58 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • Thats funny.When I met my current spouse he was in a relationship with a skinny " attractive" girl.She was never worried about him hanging out with me becuase I was the fat unattractive girl.Well guess what they broke up and not a month later we were together.Now I see her all the time because she works in a local convienence store and she always looks like shes going to cry when I see her.SOooo I dont let him be friends with a women unless it is a mutual friend and I am not friends with men unless they are a mutual friend.It seems to work for us.
    kellyandliz

    Answer by kellyandliz at 3:07 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • I honestly don't know. I guess some women are just really insecure. I personally don't have a problem with my husband being friends with another woman, even an attractive one. I trust him. Women who don't like their men talking to other women are just as possessive and insecure as men who don't like their women talking to other men.

    We don't OWN one another. We are together in a partnership and that requires trust. If you can't trust your man then you need to re-evaluate your relationship!
    amethystrse

    Answer by amethystrse at 3:08 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • I don't have an issue with it. I have lots of male friends, because I'm more of one of the boys. It all plays on insecurity.
    JaeParrish

    Answer by JaeParrish at 3:10 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • I think that there has to be trust but there also has to be boundries.My husband can go out to a club with his friends and dance with other girls ect...But friendship is different.I dont want him on the phone talking to some other girl about our life if she is not my friend also.
    kellyandliz

    Answer by kellyandliz at 3:13 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • i don't mind my husband being friends with women, we have a group of friends, men and women. but here's the thing. i think it's out of line for him and a female friend to hang out alone. that is more of a "if you need to share your feelings, thoughts or have fun with a woman, it should be your wife" type of thing. it's a matter of respect. no one is right or wrong, it depends on what works for you and your husband. if you don't mind that he has women friends, then rock on. but he needs to be ok with you having male friends as well. but if you aren't ok with him hanging out with women without you, he should respect that...but you should give him the same respect and not hang out with men friends without him. with my husband and myself, we enjoy spending time together and talking and laughing. if we want to hang out with a friend of the opposite sex, we hang out with each other, because we are BEST friends!
    jacquiev5

    Answer by jacquiev5 at 3:14 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • I'm fine if my husband wants to have friends that are female. I trust him 100%! It's the women I don't fully trust...but I know my husband would let me know if anyone ever tried something with him.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 3:34 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • When my husband says..there's now way I'd have any thing to do with that boney assed skank, or her boobs are way too small...I know he has taken too much notice and has already made his first move.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • I'm almost 37 and in my opinion, men and women don't have many reasons to be friends with the opposit sex unless the spouse is involved. One person always wants something and if she is single she probably wants something from him. Looks have nothing to with my opinion, this is from watching this type of thing happen over and over to friends and family. Beware. I'm so not insecure so I don't need to be attacked about that. This is just what I know since I've been dating and now married 8+ years. By the way, I think that if a woman never thinks her man would do a thing with someone else, you are in la-la land. We are all capable of cheating, it is making the right choices and knowing when to say no to things that are not approrpriate.
    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 3:55 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • I don't mind my husband hanging out with women who are mutual friends if I'm around, or a select few of them that I would trust with *my life*. I also don't have a problem with getting to know the women he was friends with prior to our marriage. However, I don't agree with him having female friends that are solely HIS friends that he hangs out with outside of our relationship. I don't care if she's fat, skinny, hot, "ugly". I trust my husband however I strongly believe in not allowing any temptation into a marriage and I would never be okay with him hanging out one-on-one with female friends. The same way that he would never be okay with me hanging out one-on-one with male friends. It's not a matter of trust, it's a matter of human nature, wordly desires, and not allowing those temptations when I have control over the situation.
    MamaPyratekk

    Answer by MamaPyratekk at 4:02 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

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